Storytelling With Impact: The Secrets To Giving A TEDx Talk With Mark Lovett
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A former corporate executive who was saved by storytelling, Mark Lovett spent many years in the computer industry in Southern California. After getting out of that, he started consulting and got dragged by one of his clients to be a co-organizer of TEDx San Diego back in 2010, eventually producing twenty TEDx events over a six-year period. Today, Mark joins John Livesay to share his secrets to giving a TEDx talk and telling stories that can impact the lives of others. Shake off your fear of public speaking. Listen to this episode and start sharing your wisdom with the world.
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Storytelling With Impact: The Secrets To Giving A TEDx Talk With Mark Lovett
Have you ever wondered what it takes to get to TEDx or a TED Talk? Do you think you have a story with an idea that’s worth sharing? Have you ever wondered what it’s like to organize a TED event? This episode is for you. Mark Lovett has given TEDx Talk and organized multiple ones. He shares with us all the secrets that go into creating a story with impact. Enjoy the episode.
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I’m honored that we have Mark Lovett here from Lisbon. Mark and I knew each other when we lived in Southern California together. He was running the TEDx for San Diego for many years. He went on to do it down in between the border of Mexico and California. He even has done a TEDx in a prison. He is the expert not only on TEDx but how to tell a great story. Mark, thank you for joining us.
It’s a pleasure to be here, John.
Let’s have people know a little bit more about you. Would you mind expanding on your background?
I like to tell people that I was a former corporate executive who was saved by storytelling. I spent many years in the computer industry in Southern California. I got out of that and started consulting. It was one of my clients who started TEDx San Diego back in 2010, but that’s a program that only started in 2009. He was one of the first TEDx right out of the gate. He dragged me into the process to be a co-organizer. As the story goes, after one of the events, he puts something in my wine and I woke up the next day with a licensed to TEDx San Diego in my hand. Over a six-year period, we produced twenty TEDx events.
The big ones inside Symphony Hall were 1,800 people. You mentioned the one we did on the border where we built a stage in the United States and the stage in Mexico. There was the border fence right in the middle. We alternated our speakers back and forth from one country to the other. We did TEDx inside a state prison. One of our events was a youth event and that’s where the speakers, the performers, and the emcees were all high school students. My only rule was no adults allowed on stage.
I bet the kids love that.
[bctt tweet=”Tired of coming in second place? Stop playing defense.” username=”John_Livesay”]
They were thrilled. It’s like, “We don’t have any teachers or principals and we’re going to run this thing?” That whole process got me into speaker coaching, which has been a wide variety of things, from seminars to one-on-one. You and I met through a Speaker Adventure, which was a program I put on with another amazing speaker coach. We would bring six people together for a weekend and do intensive storytelling training. Storytelling’s become a lot of fun and it’s the passion of my life.
What I find interesting is many people will say to me, “I don’t have a story and I don’t have any interesting things to talk about.” You’ve shown that everyone from a high school student to someone in prison has a story. Can you speak to that a little bit of how can people who may not feel that they have a story, where should they start looking?
That is a common comment that I get from people also, “I don’t have a story to tell. I’m just an average person and I haven’t done anything great.” I said, “Interesting. No story to tell. You’ve never had any experiences in life? You’ve never made any mistakes? You’ve never had any successes? You’ve never learned a single lesson in your entire life?” They go, “No, let me tell you about,” and they’re rattling off. They were a football star in high school or they got in a car wreck and almost died but they recovered from it. When you dig into it, everyone does have a story. They have learned something. They have wisdom to share with other people. Once you can bring it out of them, then you get the ball rolling and then they get into the storytelling mode.
I once heard someone say that, “Your mess is your story.” That is a different way of looking at it because you’re saying, “You’ve never made a mistake. You never had any experience where you learned a life lesson.” Once we start to look at our lives, we think there is a story. The other issue is, “I’m not good at telling stories.” We’ve solved one problem. We’ve given people two places to look in their life, mistakes you’ve made and the lessons you’ve learned. Before anybody feels comfortable telling a story, even at a party, let alone in front of the people for business purposes, they think, “I stumble through it.” Let’s talk about that. How much practice is required when someone does give a TEDx Talk?
Let me back up a step to the overall point and then we’ll get into the TEDx. Unfortunately, there’s one of these urban legends that get out there that says, “People fear public speaking more than death.” I used to teach a class at the University of California, San Diego in storytelling and everyone would nod their head like, “I’ve heard that. I believe that. That’s the most frightening thing.” I said, “I’m going to give everyone in the class a choice. Option A, you come up in front of the class and speak for five minutes. Option B, I have a guillotine out in the parking lot. You can walk out to the parking lot and it’s off with your head. How many of you are going to choose to go out to the parking lot?” Nobody raises their hand.
In that class, the first night, there are a lot of nervous people. By the sixth class, everyone is up there delivering stories and they’re blown away by the other students. They’re all saying, “I had no idea you were such a great speaker.” It’s not that we’re afraid of public speaking. As humans, we are afraid of doing anything that we’re not good at and that we’re going to do in public because we don’t want to embarrass ourselves. Once you can start practicing to your point and get used to it, you realize, “I can do this. I tell stories all the time. I still tell stories to my family, friends, and at work all the time. Up on stage is a little different, but I can do it.”

Giving A TEDx Talk: When you dig into it, everyone does have a story. They have learned something and they have wisdom to share with other people.
That reminds me of a book I read called Scared Speechless. My friend Steve Rohr wrote it. He said, “What’s going on in our brain is that from a tribal standpoint, stick with the herd. If you get hurt or you’re limping behind, that’s when you get picked off by a predator.” Our old brain is wired. If we’re standing in front of an audience, the herd is out there. You’re all by yourself. What are you doing? You’re going to get hurt. The other common thing I hear is that, “I get butterflies in my stomach. I get nervous and I hate that feeling.” I’m going to give everybody a solution to that, which is the goal.
It is not to get rid of those butterflies in your stomach, but to get those butterflies in your stomach to fly information. Get the nervous energy out of your stomach and into the room. If we make a gesture, then we’re putting energy into the room. It comes out of our stomach. The biggest thing is to get out of your head, worrying about how you’re doing. As you said, we’re afraid of embarrassing ourselves and of being judged, “Will they like me? Am I good enough?” The key to getting those butterflies in your stomach is don’t try to get rid of them. Get them to fly information. What are your thoughts on that?
It’s common. A lot of times, people think, “Only the amateurs get butterflies in their stomach.” I’ve talked to many professionals, they’ve been on stage 1,000 times and they still have that nervous energy. To your point, they turn it around to help them rather than to detract them from giving a speech. What I try to tell people is, “Think about this before you’re going on stage. The fact that you have this honor to connect with an audience and you’re going to give them a gift of your wisdom. This is a lesson you’ve learned, an idea that you have, an experience that you have and you’re going to share it. The audience is sitting there because they want to hear your story. They’re not passing judgment on you. Instead, they’re showing love to you.” When I tell that to people, they look at me strangely like, “What do you mean? These people don’t even know me. How can they love me?” They get out there, give a talk and then they come off stage. They go, “You were right. I could feel the love coming out of the audience. I could see the smiles. I heard the laughter. I got the applause.” They start feeding on that energy. Once you bring the energy of the audience and then the butterflies go away.
What I found when I gave a virtual keynote as opposed to doing it in front of an audience, we had that energy going back and forth. I wasn’t sure if the energy was going to come. I knew I could put the energy out, but I didn’t know because everyone’s on mute. I thought, “I’m wondering if this is going to still be the impact that I’m looking for.” Sure enough, it was. The element of connection and the joy of storytelling comes through virtually, which is fantastic to know. We can do a Zoom breakout rooms and we’ve got chats, we’ve got some questions here already.
Before we jump into that question, let’s just recap what we’ve covered so far. Everyone has a story. Look at your mistakes or lessons learned. Overcome your fear of giving the talk because you wouldn’t get those butterflies in your stomach to fly information. Get out of your head, worrying about embarrassing yourself. It’s one of the key elements, so we don’t feel like we’re going to stumble is practice. That would be the next logical thing of, “I know what I’m going to say. I’m not afraid of having to be perfect even.” The practice part also supports getting those nerves to go away.
The more comfortable you are, the more relaxed you’re going to be on stage. We used to always talk about when we did Speaker Adventure. There’s this process of moving the talk from your head down to your heart. It’s always in your head when you’re trying to remember, “What’s my next line? What’s the next thing I’m going to say?” Once you rehearse it enough times, it starts to become easier and easier to recite. It’s what’s often called the happy birthday effect. I’d walk up to anybody on the street and said, “Start singing happy birthday.” They wouldn’t stop and say, “What are the lyrics to that?” They would start singing happy birthday because they’ve done it so often. For me, there’s this circular process of writing, rehearsing, and editing. I try to get students involved in that as soon as possible.
[bctt tweet=”Go from pushy to persuasive.” username=”John_Livesay”]
I’m a big proponent for writing out your talk because the writing is where ideas start to flow and then stand up and rehearse this talk. All of a sudden, you’ll start hearing yourself going, “That sentence doesn’t sound right. I would never say that word. This sounds a bit disjointed.” One of the big reasons is that we read differently than we hear. When you’re reading a book, it’s not the same as somebody giving a speech. When you start writing your talk, you’re going to write it as though you’re reading it and it’s going to read well. When you start speaking it, you’ll notice all these things that don’t work quite right. You sit down and you start to edit it. Make your sentences shorter, more concise, use simpler words, and then get up and rehearse. When you do that, 30, 40, 50 times, some people roll their eyes and go, “I can’t believe I’m going to do it that many times.” You start to feel it. You start to get that happy birthday effect.
I love that happy birthday effect. That is clever. One of the mistakes that I see a lot of people are making is pushing out a bunch of information and I want to talk about that. What’s causing that? I’m going to tell his concept of, “We have to get people to know, like, and trust us.” People say, “What does that look like?” The problem with know, like, and trust is, you think, “If I have to get people to know me before they want to trust me, that’s going to cause me to push out a bunch of information.” You’ll get confused about it. You think, “I’ve got to explain to everybody why they would need to know me and why they need to like me.” When that happens, people get bored and they checked out because nobody remembers a bunch of information. That’s where storytelling comes in.
The old way of doing this is you got to know, like, and trust, therefore, “I got to give you a bunch of information, then maybe you’ll like me and trust me.” I tell people, “You’ve got the order wrong. You need to start with trust,” That’s a gut thing. In fact, the handshake came about to show you didn’t have a weapon in your hand. It goes from the gut to the heart. The more you show empathy for someone and can describe what their pain point is, especially as you were describing the mistake you might have made when you share that in a TEDx Talk or any situation. People feel like, “I have empathy for what that felt like. I’ve been in that situation.” It goes to our head where we want to have a story that gives people some actionable takeaway where they think to themselves, “This advice you’re giving me would work for me.” Tell me about some of the best TEDx Talks you’ve seen and coach people giving that use this formula.
I go all the way back to the ancient Greeks and the Romans, which is where rhetoric started. Aristotle had three principles that mirror what you talked about. Those are ethos, pathos and logos. Ethos is where we get the word ethics and it’s your credibility. Whether somebody believes in you, whether they trust you, whether they feel confident that you know what you’re talking about. Pathos is the emotional side, which is liking somebody. You want to touch somebody emotionally. I love the fact that you reverse the order on these because it’s the third one, the intellect. Logos is where we get logic from. Your argument needs to come off as being logical, but that logic comes after the emotional connection and after that credibility.
That gut, heart and head are important there. One of the ways that you do that is by being authentic on stage. Dumping out a bunch of information, then you sound like a college professor, “I’m reading from a textbook and here’s all the information that I’m trying to convince you that this information is true.” People need to be able to connect to you as a human first. One of the ways to do that is to put a human story within your story. Even if your story is technical, let’s bring in that human element. For example, we did a TEDx at the Salk Institute. I coached all the speakers. One of the scientists, his specialty was electron microscopy.
It’s a beautiful technology, but he would get down to the molecular level of what they’re seeing. They’re watching cells split and divided, all this stuff. I said, “I love all of that. Let’s take a step back and tell me who you are. How did you get into this?” I was certain he was going to tell me, “I knew I wanted to be a scientist when I was five years old. I had a microscope and I would look through a telescope.” He said, “When I was growing up, I wanted to be a tennis pro.” I said, “Unbelievable.” He goes, “I realized I wasn’t good enough, so I decided to go to college.” I said, “You wanted to be a scientist?” He said, “No, I was a Philosophy major.” It turned out his girlfriend had told him he needed to take an elective and she said, “Why don’t you take one of these organic chemistry classes?”

Giving A TEDx Talk: Your argument needs to come off as logical, but that logic comes after the emotional connection and, after that, credibility.
He stumbled into this class. He got into the lab and he says, “This is it. I’m hooked.” It completely changed his life. I said, “We need to put a piece of that in your talk so the people can understand you took a human journey to get to the point where you became a scientist. You weren’t born a scientist. You weren’t running around in your diapers with a little stethoscope.” He ended up giving a great talk connected with the audience because almost everybody’s had this issue of, “What’s my career? Am I going to change careers? What am I going to be when I grow up?” He tapped into that, “What am I going to be when I grow up?” It took him into the information piece.
When I work with people in the business world, salespeople, or helping people with their own story for an interview to get a job, I talk about the four parts of a story. You’d exhibited them brilliantly. I can refer back to what you said. The first part is the exposition, the who, what, where, when. You describe a problem, and then there’s a solution, and then there’s the resolution. Harry posted a question about, “How do we approach a complex story and reduce it to eighteen minutes for a TEDx Talk?” The same is true whether you’re given an hour in front of a client, if you’re a salesperson. Many times in my career they said, “I know we said you have an hour, you only have twenty minutes.”
You have to be agile and flexible. If we look at what you described for us, the Salk Institute. That’s Jonas Salk, who created the polio vaccine. You’re doing a whole TEDx. We know that’s going to be complicated and scientific. You then tell the story of all the problems this scientist was getting into the real nitty-gritty. There was no emotional connection to what he was saying. The solution you came up with was an unexpected story. It was not a linear story. Suddenly, we know about his life by chance of discovering how much he loves science and had a knack for it. That becomes a huge resolution to the story of whether you’re thinking if you might stumble upon something just like scientists do when they discover a cure, where they’re not even trying to cure something.
We know many examples of that, like penicillin or even Viagra. Many things were not originally discovered that way. Something that’s complex about molecules and scientists, we’ve taken them on that journey using exposition, a problem, a solution, and then I feel that the secret sauce to a great story is the resolution. I talk about The Wizard of Oz. Part of what hooks that movie is that little 3, 4-minute when Dorothy’s back home and saying, “You were there.” Suddenly she puts all the pieces together of what life is all about. If that movie ended with her in the hot air balloon going back home, then we’re like, “Okay.” We need those takeaways, don’t we?
In the story that I told about that speaker, once he connected with the audience and he got into the technology of electron microscopy, how they’re able to watch the AIDS virus, how it infiltrates a cell and how it replicates and all of this, he came out of that. He said, “What we’re learning now, we’ll be able to use to investigate many other diseases.” I’ve been thinking about him lately because of COVID-19. The fact that his research is exactly the research that looks at that molecular level to say, “How is the virus acting? Is it mutating? Is it changing? How is it affecting humans? Why is it killing one person and the other person doesn’t even know they have it?” He brought it back to that human level. He was saying to the audience, “Even though what I work on is very technical, the reason I do this is because it will change your life. The scientific discoveries that we’re going to make will change the world of disease prevention and control.” The people walk out of that talk feeling like, “My life is going to be different. Especially, my children’s lives are going to be different because of what he’s doing.” It came right back to that human aspect.
Let’s give everybody another example of storytelling. I was hired by Olympus Medical to be their keynote speaker for their 250 salespeople that call on doctors. They wanted to bring storytelling into their culture. Tapping into another TED speaker, Simon Sinek, who’s all about the why and not the how or the what. The thing is it was an a-ha moment for their executive marketing director. This started the journey where they said, “Everything we’re putting out in our marketing materials and what’s coming out of the salespeople’s mouth is about the what and the how, not why we’re doing this. Let’s find a speaker who can talk about storytelling and selling and help us get to our why.”
[bctt tweet=”The more comfortable you are, the more relaxed you’re going to be on stage.” username=”John_Livesay”]
They started their journey of looking and used Google search. My Better Selling Through Storytelling book came up. They saw I was a speaker and then I was up against another speaker. What’s ironic about all this is I help people use storytelling to sell their product or service better, and yet the audience forget that I had to sell myself using the same skills. I talked to them about, “What does it look like? What would this be?” I tell a story of how I helped an architecture firm win $1 billion airport renovation by telling a story that took people on a journey as opposed to showing a bunch of before and after pictures with statistics. When I started to work with the Olympus Medical people, I said to them, “What are you saying now?” “Our equipment makes surgeries 30% faster.”
I said, “That’s a nice feature. There’s no story there. There’s no emotional connection.” It’s very left brain analytical. They start doing the math for how many more surgeries? How much money could you make? I said, “What does that mean? How long is a typical surgery without your equipment?” “Two and a half hours,” “With it?” “Thirty percent faster is an hour and half.” I said, “How about if we tell this story to a doctor? Tell the story of another doctor.” Here’s the secret, everybody. When people see themselves in your story, they want to go on that journey with you. They said, “Dr. Higgins was using our equipment compared to what he had been using. You can imagine how happy he was that he was able to go out into the waiting room and tell the patient’s family who was waiting to know if their loved one was okay or not, as they look for cancer, made it and got good results an hour and a half earlier than normal. For that family in the waiting room, if you’ve ever been there, every minute feels like an hour.”
The doctor said, “This is why I became a doctor because I wanted to be able to deliver good news. The fact that I could deliver good news and heal people earlier than making someone out there waiting.” They said, “That gives us chills. We’ve never thought about the patient’s family benefiting from this.” Let’s talk about characters in a story that we bring in. How do we target people’s heart strings, so inevitably they want to open their purse strings and buy from us? What do you think about the importance of describing characters like that?
I think it’s key. I had a wonderful opportunity to work with an entrepreneur. He was starting a brand new company. They were still in stealth mode. Nobody knew they existed. Their product hadn’t been released yet. I came in and I said, “This is odd. I work with entrepreneurs and CEOs, but they have existing businesses.” He said, “I want all of my employees to become storytellers. I want them to start thinking about stories in what they do.” We brainstormed a couple of options. One was I gave a workshop to everyone on the general principles of storytelling.
We had a unique idea that we got everyone to buy into. That was we were going to make a commercial for a product that didn’t exist yet. We storyboarded the process and we said, “This is not you as an engineer or a marketing person telling the world how great your product is. We’re going to focus this little movie on two people, the one person who’s bringing out this product and the other person that is going to be one of the customers. Tell us a story of who this person is who’s developing this product. Once that product gets in the market and a customer gets a hold of that product, what are they going to do with it?” The focus was that the customer’s life was going to be better or to your point, they were going to be happier because every successful product ends up with a happy customer.
They have a smile on their face, they’re satisfied. Maybe it solved a pain point. Maybe it reduced the amount of time. Maybe it relieves stress. We did a storyboard. A couple of the employees in the company were pretty good with cameras and a couple of the engineers had daughters who would have been in theater. We wrote this out and they filmed a little movie about these two people. It humanized the whole process of why their product existed in the first place and the change that happened to their customer. When they showed this little video to the rest of the company, everyone’s eyes got big.

Giving A TEDx Talk: Once we are emotionally attached, there needs to be the logic underneath. Without the logic, it’s just a feel-good story, and there’s no takeaway from that.
They were watching someone’s life change in front of them. For most businesses, you don’t get to see that. You can make the sales call, you win the order, you ship the product, and then that company might sell that again to somebody else. You don’t get to be in that waiting room to touch on your story and you don’t get to see the look on the family’s face when they go, “Thank you so much. We were sitting here worrying minute by minute. It’s good to hear this news sooner rather than later.” By doing that, they were able to visually show that customer being happy. I would encourage other people to do something like that, to envision how the customer’s going to feel when your product has an effect on them.
Here’s a big myth like, “I’d rather die than get up and speak.” Another myth is people buy logically. There’s no emotion in any decisions. People buy emotionally and then back it up with logic. A lot of my tech engineer audiences and clients are shocked by that because they think everything they’re doing is logical. I said, “I promise if you go into an expensive sports car dealership, they’re not talking about how many miles per gallon it gets. They’re talking about how sexy you’re going to look and feel and how much fun it’s going to be.” That part of the joy of storytelling is it elicits emotion and then drives us going from there. This concept of storytelling. I want to go back to that with another story and then an example of that. This premise that, “Do we have a story or not?” Everybody has a story.
As we’ve talked about, you can tap into your stories from looking at the mistakes that you’ve made or lessons that you’ve learned. Businesses tend to talk about things through a case study, which has been around forever. It’s boring. They usually go, “We worked with this client.” You’re listening to someone recite a bunch of information. The magic is when you turn a boring case study into a compelling case story, almost like The Wizard of Oz that goes from black and white to color, people are suddenly pulled in saying, “I want to go on that journey.” When I was working with that architecture firm, we turned that fairly traditional boring case study.
I said, “What’s the exposition?” “Years ago, Jet Blue hired us at JFK to renovate the airport. One of the problems we had to deal with was wrapping up all the floors in the middle of the night. We had all our vendors on call from 9:00 at night until 9:00 in the morning in case something went wrong. At 2:00 in the morning, a fuse blew and we had the vendor there in twenty minutes fixed it. At 8:59, the last tile went down and then all the stores opened on time at 9:00 AM. A year later, sales are up 15% because we’ve designed a place that attracts and keeps people shopping longer.” That’s a case story as opposed to a lot of before and after pictures. Instead of getting up there and saying, “We use critical thinking to anticipate problems.” That was part of the story. We had all our vendors on call. Even the little visual of, “At 8:59, the last tile went down.” A little bit of drama in a story is important. Would you speak to that of how good TEDx Talk could use this?
I love that visual that you mentioned of putting down that last tile. We are geared these days to the Hollywood version of that storytelling. It’s right down to the last second and the hero has no chance of winning. He pulls it off in this miraculous fashion and we feel good because the hero was successful. There’s that emotional connection between the success of the hero and our desire to be successful also. Back to your point about the emotions versus the logic, it’s true. There are a lot of studies that have been done where people say, “I make my decisions logically. It’s based on the facts.” Studies have shown that emotion always leads. Once we are emotionally attached, there needs to be the logic underneath. Without the logic underneath, it’s just a feel good story and there’s no takeaway from that. That’s important for people to remember that they do need the data, but it needs to support the emotional piece of the story.
When we are working with TEDx speakers, that’s much the same process. They start off with, “Here’s all of the data that I want to put out there.” We come back and say, “How can they connect to you? How can your data connect to the audience?” In the case of the scientist, what he was doing was technical, but the result of what he was doing was going to touch people’s lives. We had a young woman on our stage talking about the integration of San Diego and Tijuana, Mexico and the fact that these two cities sit on the most heavily trafficked land border in the world. People think it’s far away and it’s a foreign country. When you bring people together, you see how cultures interact. Instead of this becoming a political issue or a physical issue or even some immigration issue, all of a sudden, she brought them down to culture.
[bctt tweet=”Every successful product ends up with a happy customer.” username=”John_Livesay”]
She’s like, “Think of the music that we share across this border or think of the art that we share.” She even told a funny story inside of her big story, which was, “When your friends come to town, they all want to know where can I get the $2 tacos?” The Taco Tuesday had become this religion in the United States. She brought this laughter into the audience where everyone in the audience could connect because they all knew what Taco Tuesday was. If you need to know about commerce across the board, maybe they didn’t understand all of the ramifications of two cultures, but it brought it down to this very common point. When you can do that, then you can layer the statistics on that. People now trust you because you’ve met them where they are. You’ve put yourself in the audience’s shoes.
Harry has another question for us. It taps into what you were saying about how Hollywood has influenced our perception of what a good story is and how we get pulled in and Robert McKee is known for being a big teacher of scriptwriting. There’s Joseph Campbell, who’s also known as creating the story structure of the Hero’s Journey. I’ve got some examples of how both of those things intersect to Hero’s Journey within movies. Did you pull from both when you’re working with people on their TEDx Talks and companies?
I like to pull from a variety of sources. I love to go back in history, so I can bring some of Aristotle and Cicero into the mix to say, “Look how old storytelling is. Before any of these electronics came out, the only way we could convey a message was through verbally speaking in front of a crowd.” Get into the Hollywood genre, which the Hero’s Journey is a part of that. Some people like to talk about the three-act play in the theater. There are some elements you can pull out of that. There’s a whole area of expertise called narrative nonfiction.
This is where you take a nonfiction, but instead of presenting it like a newspaper report, you present it as a story. If you’ve ever seen movies like The Right Stuff or Black Hawk Down, true stories, but they were wrapped in a narrative. You can pull techniques from each of these different genres to convince people that onstage, you can be telling a true story. Do it in a narrative fashion where you have characters, emotions, plot points and a resolution. These basic principles can all be pulled together.
Let’s share with people some of the genres of storytelling and then we’re going to talk about a movie that uses it and a brand that uses it. Rags to riches is a common example of storytelling. The movie that uses it is Cinderella when she gets completely transformed into something amazing. We hear rags to riches stories when we hear about Oprah. She was born poor. The fact that she’s a billionaire, brands use it. Johnnie Walker Scotch used to be this poor Scottish farmer and now he’s Johnnie Walker. When I was giving a talk at the Coca-Cola Summit for their CMOs, I met the Marketing Director at Auntie Anne’s Pretzels, which are sold in airports and shopping centers. I said, “How did this all start?” She started selling pretzel on a farmer’s market and clearly scaled up from there.
The next one is a quest, going on this journey. For me, nothing says that better than Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings is all about finding that ring, “I must get that back.” Their tagline is used to be, the pursuit of perfection. We’re on this journey together and how do we get there? The next one is a rebirth genre. This is It’s A Wonderful Life, when he’s trying to figure out, “How I can get a second chance at my life?” Prudential uses this in their brand marketing. They talk about in terms of storytelling structure. They say, “Your retirement is your third act. It’s not a continuation of middle age, it is a rebirth.” It’s very obvious. Back to our favorite, your decision of, “Do I stay home or travel?” It takes on all kinds of meaning during the COVID-19 situation but from a storytelling standpoint, that is The Wizard of Oz.

Giving A TEDx Talk: Every audience is going to be different. Every audience has a unique perspective on the experiences they’ve been in.
We talked about the importance of this resolution. This is all part of the storytelling. When people are going to go back to traveling again, Expedia uses this genre when they say, “Go book a trip on Expedia, had this amazing adventure and then come back and tell all your friends about it.” It’s important that people are taken on a journey so that they can relate to it. One of the biggest problems I help companies and salespeople do is become memorable. When I was talking to an executive search firm, he said, “It’s between us and two other people. We each get an hour to come in and present.” We always say, “Can we go last? We’ve done some research hoping that whoever goes last is more memorable.” I said, “If that’s what you’re depending on to be memorable, you’re in trouble.” Can you speak to the power of how stories make us more memorable?
I did a webinar with a bunch of hosts from Airbnb and these were their experiences. They’re used to people coming into town and having these great experiences. Right now, there are no travels. They’re looking at, “Once travel opens up, how am I going to retool myself? How am I going to improve my company?” I said, “People when they’re in storytelling mode, it happens in three phases.” This happens in a lot of industries, but travel is the top example. I said. “The first storytelling that they get into is when they see your product. They start telling themselves a story of, “When I have that experience, what is it going to be like? I’m going to be walking through a city. I’m going to be surfing. I’m going to be tasting wine.” They have to have a good enough story in their head for them to hit the buy button and to even purchase your product in the first place.
The second level of storytelling is when they do go on vacation. They’re in your city and you’re taking them on a hike out through the mountain ranges. They’re in a real-time story. It’s no longer imagination. Every step is a little piece of the story, the other people who are on the tour, and all of the things that they see. The third part of the story is once they go home and that’s when they’re telling all of her friends. That’s where that memory becomes solidified because they started out envisioning the process and then they experienced it. They’re telling their friends.
I think Apple did this well. To give one quick example, I remember these giant billboards when the iPod came out. It would have this girl dancing with headphones. She’s holding an iPod. They were like, “That’s it.” There’s no text. There are no specs, there’s nothing there. The whole story was people driving by that billboard, “I could be that person. If I was that person and I had that product, I could be listening to music everywhere.” They go out and they buy the product. They’re running on the beach and they’re listening to their favorite music. The third part of that story is they go tell all their friends, “You can’t believe how great this product is. It’s changed my life completely. I can listen to my favorite music everywhere that I’m at.”
Once you get someone to become your brand ambassador and sell your story, they have more impact than you telling your own story. When you’re trying to get a client to hire you as a speaker like I do, or to get a client to buy your product versus another product for a hospital or whatever it is you’re selling, you need to have somebody inside who can remember your story. They’re not going to remember 30% faster necessarily, but they’re going to remember that story. There are a lot of decision-makers these days. You need someone who can remember your story and tell it for you.
That’s why I’ve created an online course called Better Selling Through Storytelling to help people learn how to become better storytellers, so that they are able to start increasing the amount of sales that they’re closing. They just keep going up to bat and going, “I’m not getting anything.” They get burned out. I know I was there. I was on that roller coaster of pushing and pushing and hoping something stuck on the wall like spaghetti. With storytelling, you don’t have to push hard. You can pull people in. One of my clients said, “We are tired of coming in second place when we go up for these presentations.” They go, “We looked at three and sorry you came in second.” Unlike the Olympics, there’s no reward. There’s no medal for second place in business. You just don’t get the business.
[bctt tweet=”People will trust you when you’ve met them where they are, when you’ve put yourself in their shoes.” username=”John_Livesay”]
When I started working with them, they’d sent their team through this course to learn how to turn these boring case studies in the case stories, they won three new pieces of business back-to-back. They were statically happy. When I was working with Gensler, the architecture firm renovating the Pittsburgh Airport, the stakes are so important in a story. You have to have people to care. I’ve never worked on anything that had the stakes that high, $1 billion with its stake on who told the best story during that interview hour. This concept of nobody wants to be pushy. A lot of people hate even saying that they’re salespeople because of the image of an old used-car salesman pushing stuff.
Kurt Beecher, who was the CEO of Sugar Mountain Foods, they make this amazing cheese up in Seattle. He said, “Can you come teach my team how to become persuasive but not pushy? How would you do that?” I said, “Teaching them how to tell stories,” because when you teach people stories, they’re in the story. You’re not pushing. You’re pulling people in. We touched on the importance of people forget what you say right after you leave the room. That’s why going last was a hope strategy, which is not at all something you can control, but you can control telling the best story.
Even if you have to go first, you set the bar and people will remember you and then share that story. I love this phrase and I hear it a lot in the healthcare industry. People say, “I’m trying to talk to the doctors in between surgeries. I feel like I’m an annoying pest.” I said, “Stop pushing out a bunch of information and tell him a quick story. The story doesn’t have to be something about your product. ‘You look overwhelmed. You reminded me of another doctor who was so overwhelmed. He didn’t have time to go to the bathroom and get his lunch and I bought him his lunch. Would you like me to do that for you?’” It’s amazing. “I can’t wait to see you again. Do you have any more stories for me?”
There’s always time for a good story, not for being bored by a bunch of information. People talk about, “Is there anything storytelling can do to help me become better? I feel invisible. My calls didn’t get returned. People go, ‘Who are you? What’s the company again?’” I said, “You got to start with a story to get on somebody’s radar.” Have a catchy line in your subject line and your email. I help people do all of this. They go from invisible to feeling irresistible and then you get people wanting to work with you. You’re not pushing anymore. You’re pulling them in.
This online course goes through everything we talked about but in much greater detail. You can do it at your own pace. It’s only ten-minute modules. There’s a little quiz to make sure you understood things. You don’t even have to do it in order. I’ve made it so it’s not cumulative. Rob Angel, the creator of Pictionary said, “I skipped around on the things I wanted to learn first.” I said, “It’s designed for you to do that.” He was able to use what he learned in this to help him tell better stories for his talks as well as when he was getting interviewed for his new book. If I’ve put together a lot of bonuses and for everybody on this particular mastermind, not only do you get invited to a Facebook group where you can work with me once a week with everyone else in the course and have me help you with your pitch.
I’m giving people a one hour bonus to work with me one-on-one that normally goes for $500 an hour. You can see the value of signing up will give you an hour after you’ve gone through the course for me to help you do this. If you’re selling something for $50,000, like the Olympus Medical people do, and you’re closing five out of ten pitches and through becoming a better storyteller, you close six out of ten. That’s a great benefit to you. The course investment is only $497 and I come up with a 60-day guarantee. If your sales aren’t up by 10% after taking the course, I give your money back. Why? I don’t want people to feel like this is a risk. I’m passionate and my purpose is to help as many people as possible become storytellers because I know it can help change the way you feel about yourself and the impact you have on people.
If you go to this website, JohnLivesay.com/sales, you can sign up and you’ll get the bonus hour to work with me one-on-one. The Olympus Medical people put their entire team of people through it after my keynote. They kept reinforcing what they’ve heard. You’re in a similar situation where you’ve heard a mini version of my keynote and the course will reinforce this. You can imagine how much better your life is going to be where there’s storytelling in your toolbox instead of a hammer, as Maslow said, “Looking for something to hit a nail.” Mary Ann, thanks. She said she loved that there’s always time for a good story. You talk yourself out of it saying, “No one has time to listen to my story.” If you’re going to learn how to be clear, concise, and compelling with your stories, people always have time for that. Don’t you find, Mark?
The key thing to remember there, and you’ll hear about storytelling all the time, is to know your audience. Every audience is going to be different and every audience has a unique perspective on the experiences they’ve been in. Even if you sell one product to 100 different clients, all 100 of those clients are going to have their own story. You do need to do your homework. Put yourself in their shoes and understand what does success mean to them. Success to you means, “I made the sale,” there’s nothing wrong with that. If you’re focused on what is success for them, what does that story look like? Your story can be more tailored to take them on a journey in their mind, from where they are now to a place where they’re successful. We talked about customers being happy, that’s the same thing. They want to feel like, “This was a good choice. This was the wise move. This made my life, my company, and my customers better.”
I want to thank you, Mark, for giving us your wisdom and your insights and all that experience putting on many TEDx Talks and now you’re helping people around the world. If anybody’s interested in learning how to give a TEDx Talk, I’ve referred several of my friends to you and everyone. You coached me on mine. I will forever be grateful for that incredible experience. Storytelling is it, gang. That’s why I wanted to invite Mark on because we’re both in that same mindset of whoever tells the best story has the best TEDx Talk or the best chance at their career. Thank you all for joining us and I’m looking forward to getting to work with you, hopefully on telling your story. Someone’s asking how people can get a hold of you, Mark?
If you go to StorytellingWithImpact.com, that has all my information. You can connect to me through there. Like John, I also have an offer on my website for people who want to get on a Zoom call with me. My rates are similar normally, but in this time of COVID, I’ve been giving people a free hour session with me. It’s been amazing. I’ve heard a lot of great stories, not just about business, but mainly about what people are experiencing going through quarantine. You can book a time with me if you want, and we can chat too.
You get an hour bonus with me if you sign up for the course. Mark’s been generous enough to throw in an hour of his time. I can tell you will get a lot out of it than I have. Thanks again, everybody. Go out and tell great stories.
Take care.
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- https://www.StoryTellingWithImpact.com/
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Branding Secrets: Creating A Good Story With Jenny Fernandez
Posted by John Livesay in podcast | 0 comments


Your brand is what makes or breaks your business. That is why it is crucial to create one that speaks not only to you but also to your audience. In this episode, John Livesay talks with the global branding expert, disruptor, and innovator, Jenny Fernandez, about some innovative marketing techniques that will see your business’ growth. Sharing more branding secrets behind her success, Jenny lets us in on the crucial role storytelling plays when crafting one of your own. She talks about how stories humanize a brand and drive breakthrough ideas to improve the consumer journey. When creating one, it is important to put it through the lens of the consumer and not just you. Join in on this great conversation to learn more about how to create a good story, one that allows you to reach more and create a bigger impact.
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Listen to the podcast here
Branding Secrets: Creating A Good Story With Jenny Fernandez
Our guest is Jenny Fernandez, who’s a global branding expert. She’s worked with such brands as Ritz Crackers, Oreo cookies and Trident gum. She shares stories of how she used innovative marketing techniques for each one.
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Jenny is a global brand marketer, a disruptor and innovator driving business teams and organizational transformation to accelerate growth through consumer insights, strategy, media, social and digital marketing, and team empowerment. She has been a leader across many different categories, including CPG and entertainment. She’s working literally around the world from all over North America and Asia. She is a consumer obsessed storyteller. I love storytelling, that’s why I couldn’t wait to have her on. She’s passionate about brands and humanizing data to drive breakthrough ideas to improve the consumer journey. She’s a coach and advisor to business and marketing professionals and startup teams. She’s been a graduate school adjunct professor and she’s got all kinds of expertise in branding, building brands and targeting. Jenny, welcome to the show.
Thank you, John. Thank you for having me here.
We have a lot of mutual friends including the wonderful, Judy Robinett. I want to give a shout out to people who make these great introductions. To reinforce to all the people reading how important it is to continue to build your network so that people clearly understand who you help and what problem you solve. Even if they don’t need you, they can keep you in mind for people who do. With that being said, Jenny, why don’t you take us back to your own story of origin? You can go back to childhood, you can go back to when you were getting your MBA at Northwestern, wherever you’d like. How did you get interested in branding and all that?
I will share that I moved to New York, to the United States when I was twelve. I am from the Dominican Republic. As a little kid, I came to New York and I was impressed by the number of people that I’ve met and the diversity. I have become what I call a global citizen, somebody who’s interested in understanding what moves people, what drives them and knowing that it is an exchange. If you’re able to understand what they want, what they are looking for, then you’re able to deliver on that need. They can pay it back when you do need that back. That’s like what Judy mentioned in terms of driving value and delivering value so that you can get value back later on.
You came here at twelve and then suddenly you decided, “I’m going to go get my MBA in marketing.” You ended up working for Kraft Heinz Company for seven years. Tell us a little bit about what that was like and what lessons you learned there?
I ended up joining Kraft Foods after my graduation from business school from Kellogg School of Management. It was an amazing experience. It was all about people. I had a lot of great alums who introduced me to the school who had attended Kellogg as well. It was a dream job. Imagine being able to talk and market the brands that you grew up with like Oreo cookies and Ritz Crackers, it was amazing in joining that environment and working with agency partners that knew and were champions of the brand and knew how to create a story. They introduced me to the whole idea of storytelling and in being able to, first of all, understand the audience that you’re working with. Understanding the message they want to hear and how they want to hear, it was compelling.
[bctt tweet=”Be obsessed with telling stories to consumers.” username=”John_Livesay”]
Let’s talk about a couple of those brands since it’s a big part of many people’s childhoods, mine included. The Oreo cookie, dunking it in milk, taking it apart and licking off the cream-centered filling. I spoke at the Coca Cola summit for all the CMOs who happen to carry Coca Cola at the quick service restaurants like Domino’s Pizza, etc. I was sharing the stage with another gentleman, Cal Fussman. He spoke for fifteen minutes, I spoke for 30 minutes, then he closed it. He literally described it as, “We’re like an Oreo cookie. I’m the opening and the end, John is the creamy filling.” I thought that’s a brand that’s big in people’s minds that it can now be used as an analogy. I thought you’d love that little story on the Oreo cookie brand. When a brand has been around so long, it becomes a challenge to come up with a fresh story while staying true to its origins. Tell us what you did on the Oreo cookie?
I helped manage the Oreo brand in the Asia Pacific. I moved to China back in 2012. I was managing thirteen countries including China, Southeast Asia, Japan, Korea and Australia. What was amazing is that every market was in a different life stage for the brand. The product had been in China for twenty years but it was only a four-year-old product in India. It was a different story that we needed to tell. One of the challenges that we have faced in the brand as we were looking to make it a global brand was, we needed to celebrate the 100 year anniversary for Oreo. Can you imagine how do you celebrate 100 years when the brand is just 20 or 4 years old? We went back to thinking, what is it that people love about the brand and what is it in people that drive them? We had this idea of celebration. Who doesn’t love a birthday? We said, “Join us in celebrating and join us in communicating your celebration of Oreo.” We got so much content and many beautiful videos. It was a great program put together with information from the consumer. That was amazing.
That’s the a-ha moment, everybody who’s reading. When you’re going to promote something, you need to put it through the lens of the consumer and not just you. I heard Geoff Cottrill, who had been the CMO of Converse, and they were having an anniversary and talking to their target market. He said, “What do you think of that?” I said, “It makes you seem old. Unless there’s something in it for us, why do we care, even around 100 years or whatever it was?” The fact that it becomes a birthday celebration and show us how you’re celebrating and having people submit social media content is great. That leads me right to the question, what do you think makes a good story? When you’re looking at all these contents and you’re deciding, “Of all these stories that we’re hearing, which ones are we going to promote on our social media?” What makes a good story, whether you’re creating it for the brand or you’re getting a story from your consumer?
It’s understanding what is the universal DNA that brings all consumers together. If you understand how they relate to the brand, then you can cut across cultures, across markets, across the social status. It’s about the humanity in us and what are they seeing in the brand.
Storytelling tags at the heartstrings. It transcends class and culture when we all relate to it. We know what it’s like to have a birthday, we know what it’s like to be happy, etc. Do you have a story you can share on what you did on Ritz Crackers, since that’s another big brand that you worked on and people know?
For Ritz, it was more about innovation. Ritz is a product that consumers use almost like a bread replacement. It’s a little sandwich. They create special recipes. They took the brand in a different place. We wanted Ritz to be a hand to mouth product and snack, but they decided to use it with cheese, with other more substantial ingredients. I was working in breakthrough innovation team and I wanted to leverage technology, the pop-up copying technology, to create a product that was going to be light, airy and hand-to-mouth eating, almost like a chip that we could attract younger consumers that were more on the go and wanted convenience products. They just wanted to put their hands in the bag and start eating. That was my main focus.

Branding Secrets: PR has become more and more a big powerful tool for startups to generate interest, not only from consumers but also from investors and retailers.
I used to eat Ritz Crackers with peanut butter. I don’t know if that’s just me or if other people did that too. Let’s talk about what your definition of innovation is and how that relates to brand marketing. If you’re trying to reach a younger market, how do you reach them in an innovative way? Let’s do Ritz as a story. Typically, marketing sits in scenarios where you give a brief for people who haven’t worked in this and say, “Here’s our target market. Here’s the problem we’re trying to solve. Either they’re not using us for snacking, they don’t know about us, we’re not on their radar or the marketing channel we’re using isn’t reaching them.” What did you do to be innovative to reach people?
If you don’t mind, I’ll talk about a different brand. I was working on Trident Gum. The gum business was interesting because we hadn’t spoken to an entire generation. We were trying to use product innovation in a way that wasn’t true to the brand. We were doing dessert flavors and trying to find replacements for sweet snacks and chocolates through our gum. That’s not why the consumer bought our brand. The consumers told us, “We want Trident because it is functional, because it’s going to clean my teeth.” Do you remember the commercial four out of five?
Yes, recommended. It’s not a substitute for a piece of cake or a cookie.
It’s about making you feel confident than when you need a clean mouthfeel. You are going to have one. We went back to basics and we communicated and partnered with the women’s soccer team for the World Cup. That was an amazing partnership because we were leveraging another brand, the soccer brand that talked to the same consumer we wanted to reach again. When you do a brand partnership like that, you’re basically borrowing equity.
People think fresh breath, you want to be having that for kissing. You went a completely different way around confidence and women who are playing a sport. It’s not the traditional, “This woman is concerned about her fresh breath for a kiss. These are women who are wanting to be healthy and confident. We’re tapping into that energy,” which is completely different. That’s a great example of innovation. Do you have any other stories of co-branding? That particular topic fascinates me where brands borrow the equity of another brand. It makes it a win-win for both. If you have any other stories of that, I’d love to hear them.
I’ll go back to Oreo. We did it an entire global partnership with Paramount, where we were working with Transformers 4, the movie. It was controversial internally because people thought, “Why do you want to do a brand that is about fighting and wars in space with a wholesome cookie?” Frankly, if you think back to the bigger picture, Transformers the movie came years ago. That was the origin of that movie. The kids that grew up watching transformers are the parents who are bringing their kids now. It’s a full circle. It was perfect because it’s about understanding who the consumer is. It catered to the entire family. The teenagers in the US that bought all the stuff were loving the movie, so did the moms who wanted to bring their young kids and have all their products that were more sensible within the Oreo brand. It allowed us to have an entire partnership globally that every market can get behind. Talk about the power of big and small, when you’re able to bring all of the markets within one brand and have a great program that returns on investments.
[bctt tweet=”If you understand how consumers relate to the brand, then you can cut across cultures, markets, and social status. ” username=”John_Livesay”]
You’re also involved in the startup world. Tell us a little bit about that and what advice you have for people who are starting a brand and looking for funding. What do they need to do to make sure that they get funding from investors in terms of branding?
I have a great interest in the startup world. You love coaching, I’m sure. Marshall Goldsmith has said, “What got you here will not get you there.” The skillset and the grit that somebody has to build their own business is different from the skillsets that they need in order to scale it up. When you need to level up yourself on your business, you need to be able to go to the biggest distributors, the big retailers like Target or Walmart and present a big pitch and present their case and be able to say, “Why am I going to invest in you and bring you in-house?” It all goes back to when you have a bigger decision to make on a bigger scale. You have to have a great understanding of who your consumer is. What is your true value proposition and how you differentiate versus your competition so that you can make a case for that?
The traditional way of getting into these stores was first, how many stores do I get tested in? Where on the shelf, am I? Am I at the bottom, the middle, or the top? Now with digital, it becomes a whole another way of branding. Can you speak to that? You need both channels, I’m assuming. You’re going to need to be sold in the grocery stores, in the Walmarts of the world. You also need to have some online presence or even beyond Amazon at least.
Direct to consumer is an amazing channel. You can have your own media. You have your own website. If you can partner with the likes of Amazon, you’re able to be where the eyeballs are. You don’t have to attract consumers to you. The consumers are already there. It’s great to have that kind of partnership. You can leverage social media and paid media to generate a lot of excitement about your brand. PR has become more and more a big powerful tool for startups to generate interest, not only from consumers but also from investors and retailers.
Let’s talk about PR because I think that’s an overlooked nugget. If you do it right, unlike the advertising which you have to pay for, it can be great on a pitch deck to give credibility and some social proof that you’ve been covered in Fortune or Inc. or whatever it is. What suggestions do you have for people? It’s pitching in a different way. What lessons have you experienced? I can certainly share mine but I’d love to hear yours of what it takes to get a journalist interested in you? Is it a sound bite? Is it thinking about it in terms of what’s interesting to their readers versus them trying to sell their product? What are your thoughts on how does a startup gets good PR?
There are two different ways or avenues that a startup can pursue. One is having a great founder story. That can be a way for you to position yourself as a founder, as somebody who is an expert in the field, somebody who’s innovative and creative, and somebody who has something valuable to say. I would definitely recommend founders to start building an amazingly compelling story. They can put it on their website. They can send as a PR kit to reporters. For themselves, to get themselves into conferences so that they can start talking about their business. They can start building personal brands. That’s a great way to have a PR angle.

Branding Secrets: You don’t have to be the best and have the best product, but you have to outlast your competition.
Another one would be about the actual product or service that they’re delivering. For that, it has to have a good anchor. They want to talk about innovation that’s coming up and how their value proposition is leading edge. They have the ability to speak to reporters or speak to magazines and tell them why their business is leading in that area. They can do that proactively either by hiring an agency, but if they want to go bootstrapping, anything from HARO, Help A Reporter Out. They have their own media kit and article to start creating free valuable media on Medium or Thrive to have the ability to create a sexy story that talks about why their product or service is differentiated.
Do you have an example or a story of someone you’ve consulted with that has done a good job of this?
Not somebody that I consulted, but a friend and a guest speaker to one of my classes at NYU, this is Ju Rhyu. She’s the CEO of Hero Cosmetics, which is a Korean patch that you use to heal acne. She has an amazing story. She was visiting Korea for vacation, and she had a bit of a breakout. She found these amazing products that she had never been exposed to in the US. She thought, “How can we not have this?” She decided to leave Corporate America and go on her own and bring that back. She started sending out these PR kits and working with a small bootstrap agency to create a message and to showcase why her product was differentiated. You can have the unveiling of those boxes where you see the product and you try it out. Getting influencers is a great way to do so. You can show the consumer how does it work and why is it effective. You can have a brand ambassador talk about your product.
One of the tips I’d love to leave everyone who’s reading this with is work on coming up with a sound bite because the media loves sound bites as a hook when you’re being interviewed either on camera or for an article. One that’s worked well for me is, “Are you stuck in the friend zone at work?” Both Fortune and Inc. interviewed me around that question because it grabs your brain. You’re like, “I know what the friend zone is in dating. What does it look like to be in the friend zone at work?” Three signs you’re in it and three signs to get out. It can be that basic but it pulls people into the article, then I quote me as the author that is selling through storytelling and a sales keynote speaker who’s helping people craft a story.
A lot of people in sales have been stuck in the friend zone at work with clients. It all ties together in that way. Having your founder’s story is important to take people on a journey that answers two big questions, which is why you and why now? When you have those things in a PR pitch, it also pulls in the reporters. Remember, the press is always concerned about, why now? It’s all about what’s going on now. You need to have that as part of your overall messaging. It’s the same thing when you’re doing a call to actions with consumers. Why now? Why do you need to get an Oreo cookie to celebrate our birthday or your own birthday, whatever it is? What’s next for you, Jenny?
What I’m looking to do is continue to partner with entrepreneurs that I can help them scale up their business, scale up their careers. Something that I tell a lot of them is you don’t have to be the best. You don’t have to have the best product but you have to outlast your competition.
[bctt tweet=”The skillset and the grit that somebody has to build their own business is different from the skillsets they need to scale it up. ” username=”John_Livesay”]
It’s like the TV show Survivor.
That’s right. At the end of the day, it’s not about being first to market. It’s about delivering great value and a great product that answers the consumer need. This is what gets to the crux of it. You have to have a great value proposition. You can communicate and that can be accessed by consumers. That’s why both direct to consumer marketing and getting distribution in big retailers is the way not only to provide that access but even to amp up your marketing.
Any last thought, quote or book you’d like to recommend?
There are a couple of books that I would love to recommend. One is Marshall Goldsmith’s What Got You Here Won’t Get You There. I do believe there is a sense of coaching and growth mindset that all of us need to have in order to scale up and level up our careers and businesses. That’s something I recommend to everyone. Judy Robinett with her networking book, because you have to have value to add to the networking mindset. One of the experiences and the questions that I ask my entrepreneurs and the people I work with is, “Do you feel a little dirty after going to networking events?” Most people do because it becomes a power struggle where you don’t have the upper hand. If you wait to network until you need something, you’re too late.
Judy’s books, it’s How To Be A Power Connector and her new one, Crack The Funding Code. I feel the same way about selling. Nobody wants to be pushy. The joy of becoming a storyteller is that you pull people in instead of pushing. How can people find you, Jenny?
Everybody can find me on social media, on LinkedIn and Twitter and on my website, JennyMFernandez.com. You can find me there as well.
Thank you so much for being such an insightful guest and sharing these stories of specific brands that we all know and love, and what you’ve been able to do around the world. I can’t wait to see what you do next.
Thank you so much, John. I appreciate it.
Important Links
- Jenny Fernandez
- Judy Robinett
- Hero Cosmetics
- What Got You Here Won’t Get You There
- How To Be A Power Connector
- Crack The Funding Code
- LinkedIn – Jenny M Fernandez
- Twitter – Jenny Fernandez
- Better Selling Through Storytelling Method Online Course
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Never Fly Solo With Waldo Waldman
Posted by John Livesay in podcast | 0 comments


Every day of our lives, whether in our personal lives or in our careers, we work our way towards conquering fear. Conscious or not, conquering fear is an essential part of paving our path toward success because if we live our lives continually held back by fear, we never truly accomplish anything. Keynote speaker and leadership expert Waldo Waldman is the author of the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller, Never Fly Solo. Waldo joins John Livesay to talk about the critical importance of conquering fear and choosing passion in our lives. Let Waldo and John help you choose to put passion before fear.
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Listen to the podcast here
Never Fly Solo With Waldo Waldman
Our guest is Lieutenant Colonel Waldo Waldman, who is a decorated fighter pilot and expert on leading through crisis, a Hall of Fame keynote speaker, an executive coach, and a New York Times bestselling author. He has amazing stories of how he took his childhood dream and challenges of both being afraid of heights and claustrophobia that still allowed him to become a pilot in an F-16. He talks about the need for appreciation for being the fuel of performance and how we can all start using that to fuel our life. He talks all about what it takes to become a wingman and how we all need one. Finally, he said that passion trumps fear. Enjoy the episode.
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Our guest is Lieutenant Colonel Waldo Waldman and he’s been inducted into the National Speakers Association, the Speaker Hall of Fame. He’s also known as the Council of Peers Award for Excellence. The award that honors those who have reached the top echelon of platform excellence. It’s been bestowed in less than 200 speakers worldwide since 1977, including Colin Powell, Zig Ziglar, and Ronald Reagan. Waldo is also a certified speaking professional, the highest earned designation recognized in the professional speaking industry. At least 7% of the professional speakers hold this exclusive designation. He’s a decorated fighter pilot where he’s led missions worldwide. He then went on to earn an MBA. His leadership and real-world business experience provided him the insights and skillset to consult with the largest and most diverse companies in the world. Waldo, welcome to the show.
It’s great to be here, John.
You and I met through some mutual friends, which we’ll get to in a bit but you’re known as The Wingman. Growing up in your family, who was the general? Who was the wingman between your mom and dad?
My dad was the Flight Lead and my mom was the General. She cracks the whip, was the enforcer, and sets the standard in the family. I grew up in an old-school, conservative New York household. My dad was a mechanic. My mom raised me and my identical twin brother, the ultimate wingman, and then my older brother and sister. We’re a tight family but blue-collar. My parents didn’t go to college, old school ethics, morals, conservative upbringing, hard work, integrity, get an education, and differentiate yourself. That’s what my parents always preached because they grew up poor. My grandparents were from Poland and Russia. They came over during World War II and experienced a lot of poverty. My parents worked their way up and were fortunate to have four crazy kids running around.
You have an amazing story of origin about this a-ha moment you had when your dad took you and your twin brother to the airport. Would you tell us that story?
My dad was a mentor in many ways to my brother and me and the family. He’s a workaholic. That’s why my mom tips the rain and doing a lot of the home disciplining and all that. My dad always spends time at work. One day, he took me and my twin brother, Dave, to Kennedy Airport on the first tour. We’d never been there. I’ve never been on a plane before around ten years old or so. I jumped onto that tarmac and heard the rumble of the jet engines. I watch those floating 747 in the sky. I smelled that JP-4 jet fuel and I was hooked. It was a defining moment. When it’s time to get on the flight line, he’d popped my twin brother and me into the jet 747. We sat in the cockpit. I remember it like it was yesterday, John. I’m sitting there and playing with the throttles, the switches, and making fake radio calls on the headset. I said, “Dad, what is this place for?” He said, “It’s the cockpit, Rob. It’s where the pilot flies the plane.” At that moment, I knew that I didn’t want to fix the planes like my dad, who was the mechanic on them. I wanted to fly them. There’s a lot more to that. He said, “Rob, you’re afraid of heights, it’s probably not the best career choice for you.”
You have this amazing story of one of the things that you have to do is jump off a high diving board with a 35-pound bag strapped to you. Tell us about that moment because you’re talking about overcoming your fears.
I always grew up afraid of heights as a kid but I had this maniacal passion for becoming a fighter pilot. I wanted to be in the air. What forced me to think about what I needed to do with regard to my education, my relationships, and working hard at school because we all know that being a pilot is not easy. I wanted to go to the Air Force Academy. To get into the Air Force Academy, you needed to have high grades, top of your class, well-rounded fitness, X, Y, and Z. It pushed me. That goal compelled me to stay focused and work hard. Unfortunately, the culture of my family was they embrace that environment.
It was relatively easy to have that guidance to stay on that path. I got accepted to the Academy, freshman year, I show up, everything is going great until we go to swim class. That swim class was this 33 feet high fiving board stare me down. I looked to the instructor and I said, “Excuse me, sir, do I have to jump off that thing.” He said, “As a matter of fact, Mr. Waldman, you do.” You don’t even graduate the Air Force Academy unless you complete the water survival training and jump off that diving board with a 35-pound pack on your back. I remember thinking as my mouth got parched dry and I freaked out that this was not in the marketing brochure.
That reminds me of Goldie Hawn when she’s in the movie about getting into the military and she’s like, “Where’s the glamour? Where’s the resort? Where’s the spa?” That little bait and switch sometimes when you think you’re getting into the one thing and it turns out to be something else. That happens a lot to people when they take a job, for example, or they get into a business relationship with somebody that wasn’t “in the brochure” or that’s not in my job description. Waldo, I want to double click on that because what you said there is worth so much for everybody reading. At that moment, you have a big decision. You can get mad, take your toys, and go home or you can reframe it and get back to your original purpose of how maniacally passionate you were to have your goal.
Passion trumps fear. When you look at what’s going on in your life, if we’re dealing with the economic downturn with COVID-19, the turbulence, challenge, stress, we’re facing 33 feet high diving boards, every single day. We’re facing missiles, headwinds, and turbulence. When I got into the F-16, I wasn’t jumping off diving boards, I was in the war in combat being shot at every single day. The fear was there but the key to peak performance, which is what I discussed, being that wingman and a trusted partner, realizing that you’re not flying solo and realizing that people depend on you. They’re not dependent on your philosophy as much as your performance, not your attitude as much as your actions. We, as leaders, emulators of excellence, partners, parents, friends, or whatever, we have to say, what is it that I need to do to jump? How am I going to step out of that comfort zone and realize that life is not in the brochure that on the opposite side of fear is growth? This was the key that I learned at an early age and it stayed with me. We could talk about my claustrophobia, combat, and all the turbulence.
Before we get into that, you mentioned that your dad said, “Rob, this is the cockpit, but you’re not good for this because you have a fear of heights.” How did you get to be called Waldo if you were born with the name Rob?
[bctt tweet=”The opposite side of fear is growth. ” username=”John_Livesay”]
My last name is Waldman. You could see the correlation there but every fighter pilot gets a call sign. You use it as a differentiator, as a brand builder. My brand was built in the Air Force when I finished pilot training. They said the great Waldo and I had a couple of nicknames as well but Waldo Waldman stuck. When you’ve been in combat and war, you normally get to choose your call sign. In the Air Force, there are a couple of other etiquette things you have to follow. It usually involves a lot of drinking and public embarrassment for you to earn that call sign. I’ve been called other things but I got the cool call sign or the one that I liked. It’s a cultural thing and you’ve got to earn that call sign. You’ve got to earn the respect of your peers, your wingman, your trusted partners, the men and women who you work with every single day. It happens in business and in life every day. We may not have a call sign, but our brand, name, reputation, how we show up, how we care, and prepare our critical assets and attributes to winning these days.
How we care and prepare because I am a big proponent of preparation, especially in the world of pitching and selling. In this story, we’ve got a picture of this determined young man who’s got a fear of heights overcoming that. From listening to one of your talks, it’s extremely competitive, not only to get in but to get that one slot. You said somebody else had slightly higher grades and that slot was taken. You have those key life-turning moments like the hero’s journey, you’re a hero. What’s going to happen next? Do you give up on your dream or do you say, “I’m going to go do something else and figure out a way to make still my dream happen.” In your journey, you did teach. Tell us what that was like.
For people that may not have context on it, when I graduated the Academy, I was fortunate enough to be ranked high enough to go to pilot training and there’s a wash-out-rate for all these training like at work but 33%, 1 out of 3 people normally wash-out or fail to make it through any of the higher-end aviation programs in particular and route to being a fighter pilot. Pilot training is competitive and stressful, as you can imagine. I graduated number two in my class. The number one pilot, Andy Toast, got the fighter slot and I wanted the fighter. He got the slot but I got my second choice, which was to be an instructor. That’s going to be teaching men and women how to fly in pilot training. I didn’t want to fly a big transport plane, the big cargo jets, tankers, and big Boeing. I wanted to be an aerobatic, high-G maneuverable aircraft. The next best thing was to be an instructor. I was high enough in my class to be an instructor.
What happens is we compete after the 3 or 4-year instructor toward duty for the next assignment. The higher you are ranked amongst your peers, the better your chances of choosing the jet that you want. For me, I wanted that F-16 and there were few slots. I made a commitment to work hard and be the best instructor I could. When it came time after 3 or 4 years to compete, I would maximize my chances. What happened was what happens in life en route to any journey that’s compelling and worthy of achieving is I almost died in a scuba diving accident. What does that have to do with flying? Long story short, I went scuba diving for the first time right towards the end of my last 6 or 8 months of my instructor tour and I almost died, 35 feet under the water, I had a panic attack, and the lungs filled with water. It was the first time I’d ever done.
I wasn’t well-trained and I freaked out. For those that are reading that ever had an anxiety or panic attack. I don’t know if you’ve ever been there, John. It’s an enlightening and fearful experience. I got out of the water and said, “I’m never doing that again.” A few days later, I’m back in Oklahoma, where I was an instructor, flying a training mission, the weather was terrible, and socked into the clouds. I couldn’t see the sun and the ground and I had that same panic attack that I had a few days prior. Instead of being 30 feet under the water, I’m now 30,000 feet in the air. I realized in a moment of terror that I had claustrophobia. That’s not the best thing for a pilot to have when they’re flying.
You had to overcome a fear of heights that you knew about, and then from a scuba diving experience, you realized you might have a little panic attack claustrophobia going on, which two big things that are heights and claustrophobia in that small cockpit. The thing that impresses me about your story and who you are as a man is a way you handle rejection. Number two, you have this choice. It’s no now but not no forever if you’re willing to put in the work for 3 to 4 years. A lot of people get to know in sales, particularly like, “I’m out.” It’s going to take you not to give up and keep going back. It might even take some time but you were committed. You’re like, “I’m going to be the best instructor ever so that I get another shot and had my dream coming true.” To me, that’s one of my favorite things about you and your story, because that is what inspires me to go, “If I’m committed like Waldo, then the no now doesn’t mean no forever.” You have a story to back it up.

Conquering Fears: Passion will always trump fear, no matter what’s going on in your life.
We all deal with rejection. We all have a dream. A jet we want to fly. A goal and something is going to bump into us. It’s going to be a headwind. It’s going to be a situation. It happens in our marriages, every day in sales, and it’s going to happen in your relationships, whatever it is. What I talk about is finding your why before you fly, the meaning to your mission. You’ve got to tap into what that passion is. What’s on the edge of that diving board? What’s at the end of that 3 or 4 years of training that’s going to compel you to keep stepping out of your comfort zone, to keep evolving and growing as a human being, as a parent, as a partner, and as a business person?
If we look at what’s going on with COVID-19 and the pandemic going on, the fears, and issues or maybe in your personal life. Also, some people reading have had cancer or went through a divorce, dealt with some intense rejection, going through some health issues, trying to lose weight, or whatever it is. You’ve got to have that compelling why and we’ve heard this before. It’s about taking action, investing, earning your wings, and saying, “I’m going to commit and grow.” It may not be now but I’m going to earn it. I’m not going to put my jet in the hanger and fall away in fear. I’m going to stay airborne. I’m going to keep getting in the cockpit of my life and eventually go for my dreams and hopefully have another shot, which I did at the end of that pilot training.
You talk about those moments of stress that sometimes we have to push up on the throttle when all of our instincts and our fears are saying, “This is a time to pull back.” Tell us an example of that in one of your combat situations. You’re good at taking your own story and then telling us how we can apply it in our own life. You’re trying to lose weight or you’re trying to whatever, and this situation that we’re all-in, how do we find that inner strength to push up on throttle when we want to carry our head in the cover sometimes?
It goes back to that passion, drive, and that innate goal that you have, a compelling goal that’s keeping you moving forward. If you’re an entrepreneur or if you’re in sales and want to get that big promotion, you’re vested in a relationship and want to take it to the next level, or you’re entering a bodybuilding competition and you say, “I want to overcome this insecurity.” Whatever it is, you need that to push you forward. I want to get back to the story about choosing my next aircraft because this was the first combat story for me. It was almost done and scuba diving, which was PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and some of that Post-Traumatic Sales Disorder after dealing with rejection or whatever. When it came time for me to finish that assignment and we compete for that next slot. I’ll never forget what my commander said, “Waldo, you did great. Congratulations. You’re at the top of your class. You can choose anything that you want.”
A big heavy tanker, C-17 transporter, brand new plane, four engines, big roomy cockpit, be bored out of your mind flying eight-hour missions and cool spots but that’s not what I wanted. I wanted to be challenged. He also said, “By the way, you can choose your F-16, Mach 2, weapons and sensors, going fast and breaking the speed of sound, getting shot at in combat on nine-hour night combat missions.” I chose that F-16 but it was difficult for me because I had to look and say, “I’ve been dealing with these panic attacks.” Because for people that don’t realize, I would jump into a plane and have these panic attacks for a minute or two at first, that I’d breathe through it. I got focused and had to overcome this claustrophobia, this anxiety that held me back. I got used to that discomfort and chaos. I built resilience in that cockpit in the trainer, where it was one-hour missions over Oklahoma.
I knew I would be stretching by volunteering that next assignment to fly that jet, but I didn’t want to have to look back on my life and say, “To my future wife or my son, your dad played it safe. He quit on his dream when things were right in front of him.” I chose that F-16 knowing well that I was going to be going into the tiger’s mouth, face my fears in combat, fly eight-hour night combat missions, deal with my claustrophobia, crush it and defeat it. That’s what I did. There’s a long story behind that because I don’t think your fears and anxieties ever go away. The noise of fear must be drowned out by the music of your life. Your relationships, wingmen, partners, friends, fitness, what you read, what you ingest into your ears and eyes every day, especially when we’re dealing with those combat missions and now with COVID-19 and the uncertainty of the day.
[bctt tweet=”The music of your life drowns out fear.” username=”John_Livesay”]
Part of the message that I want to share with you people and guys like you because you and I have spoken, you have such amazing experience, top sales, travel, this and that, and now you’re getting into this amazing niche that you’re in. Doing these shows, creating Zoom webinars, becoming a coach, building revenue, and more significance in your life is what pandemics and fears force us to do. That’s the key. When you get up out of bed, choose the F-16 or hit the snooze button. When you got a donut or a green smoothie, choose the green smoothie. When you’ve got the opportunity to have a truthful, loving, heartfelt conversation or a board and say, “I’m going to hold off on another day.” Choose the road less traveled. Don’t take the easy way out, which is what my dad always used to say. You’ve got to go deep in your life to find out that meaning and not give up on your dreams because regret is a big poison in people’s motivation.
You talked about the choices we make and all kinds of things, flying the dream or not, the green smoothie or the donut. Everyone knows that to be a pilot, you have to be top fit because of the demands flying all night. You got to be ready to respond and defend yourself. You’ve kept this fitness. You could hop in that jet with your fitness level. Do you have tips that are transferable from the same discipline and focus that has allowed you to keep your fitness almost like an Olympic athlete that stays fit even after their Olympic career is over?
I’m a driven person. I’m a performance consultant and coach. It’s how you’re performing. That’s the true metric. Once again, it goes back to why. You need a reason to lose the way and reinvent yourself. You need a reason to have the conversation, jump out of bed early, sacrifice, hit the gym, and watch your fitness. For me, a huge component of it helps me deliver my best as a person. It helps me create. When I’m in the gym, I get creative. My heart’s pumping, I feel good, and when I’m done, I come out with ideas. I’m inspired. I want to serve other people. I’m more energized for the day. I can be an example to my son and wife. It’s not just about fitness, feeling good, and living a long life. I want to be in an environment where I can give and be my best. If you’re slacking off, not in shape, and losing that energy, other people, your clients, family members, or your friends may be impacted by that in a negative or positive way. A contagious example. The example that you said is contagious. We had ended energy or fitness or whatever.
This concept of appreciation being the fuel of performance which is such a great visual. How important is it for people to feel appreciated that keeps them going? How do you recommend people incorporate that concept of yours?
When I overcame my fears and became a peak performer, I realized a lot of the time that I was going up was that my fee was able to dissipate because I knew I wasn’t flying solo. When we went up in the to combat, I knew there were men and women on my wing supporting me, having my six, or checking my blind spots. I needed them, they needed me, and we were able to create this collaborative culture of mutual support like, “This is how we are able to win together.” Part of the key to being a peak performer, building resilience, and courage in life is to realize that others need you. You commit more for others than you likely do for yourselves. Any parent that’s reading or anybody who truly loves another human being, you know that you would jump off the 50-foot diving board for somebody that you love, whatever it takes because you’re not thinking of yourself. This was how I was able to be a great instructor pilot and a solid fighter pilot.
I wasn’t a great fighter pilot. I was good. I was a great instructor because it was always about focusing on my team, wingman, who needed me, who can I support and help? When I distracted myself from myself, I got out of my head. When we distract ourselves from our fears, anxieties, panics, and just say, “Who needs me? Who can I help? Who can I serve?” Now, we’re no longer selfishly thinking about ourselves and worried about our anxiety. We’re just in service mode, that’s how we can be fully present in life. That’s why you’re such a great communication pro and storyteller because it’s truly putting yourself in the hearts, minds, souls, that drives people. Back to the appreciation, it’s the fact that you can have your team and support them but what I learned is that what happens on the ground is just as important or even more important than what happened in the air.

Conquering Fears: It always goes back to whether or not you have a compelling goal that will keep you moving forward.
I wouldn’t say abusive but not kind and appreciative of all those other wingmen, the maintenance officers, the backend people who were in my squadron who I needed to get my jet airborne and be a part of the squadron. I learned a lesson about chewing out a young airman about appreciation. I’d be happy to share that story briefly but realizing that we have to appreciate our teammates and all those other men and women who fly with us. When we do that, we lift each other, we make them want to be around us more and make them feel good about who they are, and then they’re going to give more in return. I learned a hard lesson because I was a butthead as a fighter pilot, I was great with my fighter pilot buddies but I took for granted all those unsung heroes in my squadron.
After your military career, you went on to get an MBA and you went into sales management for big companies like UPS and Panasonic. You took some of that appreciation as well as this wonderful phrase here about, “Lose sight, lose the fight.” I’m sure that applies in selling because if salespeople don’t have a vision of who they want and what their goals are, they’re never going to make their quotas. What were you able to take from being a fighter pilot around this losing sight, losing fight into your career in business?
You always had to stay visual with your wingmen when you were flying. Part of mutual support is always having your eyes on your teammates, on the target, your eyes were everything. If you lost sight of each other, you would lose mutual support. The key to flying constantly was staying visual. In combat and a lot of scenarios, I would mess up or my flight leads will mess up. It was common because there are many moving parts literally and figuratively. It was difficult to stay visual, but when you had the visual, when you had the support, you were unbeatable. If you apply that concept in life, keeping visual of your teammates. If you’re a sales manager of those people who was working with you and for you. If you’re in a relationship, keeping visual, and keeping sight of your partner, your children, what do they need, listening, connecting, finding out what other people’s goals are. Also, staying visual about what you want, what your compelling goals are, what’s driving you forward is so important, especially when chaos happens, missiles come, and you’ve got headwinds.
My challenge for the people reading is to continuously keep your radar sweeping for those key elemental relationships that are not just important in business but in your personal life. We all know that our comrade of courage, our wingmen, the men and women in our life who lift us up rather than dragging us down who see the good that we have, the greatness in us, especially when we’re feeling deflated and out of fuel we’ll appreciate us for our gifts. That’s how we can come out of a tough situation by staying visible with them, communicating with them, checking in with them, and truly creating this context of support. Stay visual and I write down my goals every day. I’ve got items on paper. I want to stay visual with it. If you lose sight of your goals, key relationships, the people who need you, you’re going to lose the fight. It’s not easy to do. You got to be diligent and intentional with those key relationships and key drivers in your life and stay focused on them.
You’ve given us so much to think about in terms of accountability, what’s our personal commitment based on our why, executing and taking action, whether it’s getting fit or being a good wingman for the people in our lives. I wanted to recap it. You’re in great demand for companies wanting to have you come in and teach this whole concept of never flying solo. When we find the inner courage to be our best selves, we transform the way things get done. You’re also working with certain executives and one-on-one coaching. Who’s the ideal coach that you do your best client that you do your best work for?
We all know that when you’re strapped into a cockpit flying Mach 2 and pull 9 Gs, it’s difficult to see the big picture all the time. We all have blind spots, we have insecurities, things that were unfamiliar with, and we’re innocently ignorant with certain areas. A wingman builds our picture and improves that perspective. We call it checking six in the fighter world. Check six means if you can imagine, if you’re strapping into your jet, we’re sitting in our seat and 12:00 is out front, behind you is the 6:00 position. That’s the spot that’s vulnerable. It’s where the missiles come. It’s where the enemy sneaks up on you. In an F-16 strapped in, barely able to move, you can’t see that spot but if your wingman or wing ma’am is at your left 9:00 or right 3:00, if they’re a beam U, they can look over your shoulder, look behind your jet and see what you can see. Tell you to take action and hopefully, you’ll be approachable and coachable enough to take that action necessary to avoid getting shot down.
[bctt tweet=”Lose sight, lose fight.” username=”John_Livesay”]
That’s a metaphor with life and why people need a coach, mentor, or good friends who are brutally honest with them, not a yea-sayer who’s going to say yes to everything, but somebody who’s truly going to tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear. I coach sales leaders, transitioning managers, or going into executive positions, high potentials, and some CEOs who are looking to have somebody tell them what they need to hear and not what they want to hear. Create insights, give assets and tools on how they can be better than they were yesterday. That’s what drives me more than ever.
I love coaching people because I’ve invested in a lot of coaching myself because you can’t see the picture while you’re in the frame. You can’t see the missiles while you’re in the jet. It’s important to have that either formally or informally. You can hire a coach, you can invest in a coach and get training but there are also a lot of great coaches out there on the web. You can read shows like this. You’re their wingman or coach. They’re investing in this time by listening to us. We can finish on this note with regard to coaching is that I believe your coaches should be your friends in life and your mentors should be your friends. I have a saying, “Make your friends your mentors and your mentors your friends.”
You’ve got that mutual respect going on. If people want to reach out to you for either coaching or booking you as a speaker, what’s the best place for them to go to?
My website is YourWingMan.com or Google Waldo Waldman. You’ll find me there and I’m also all over social media, Waldo Walden. As far as coaching, if you want to email me at [email protected], even me or my assistant will get it. We can have a conversation. I want to give a gift to your audience. My book Never Fly Solo was in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller. It’s $20 on Audible, the audiobook, but I’m going to give it to you for free to your guests in particular during the pandemic. People need some good fuel, energy, and passion. If they go to YourWingMan.com/NFS, put your name in there, I’ll send you an audiobook, and you’ll also get six videos on building resilience in life. I’m creating trusting relationships and partnerships with people so that when you strap it to your jet and a missile comes, you won’t quit. You’ll stay resilient. You’ll keep pushing it up and serve those who need you and love you.
Thank you, Waldo. What a generous gift. I can’t wait to listen more and watch all those incredible videos. I want to thank you on behalf of the whole country for your service and for being such a great guy.

Conquering Fears: People need a coach, a mentor, or good friends who will be brutally honest with them instead of being “yaysayers.”
Thank you, John. It’s been a pleasure and I’m thrilled to be your wingman and develop a relationship with you as well.
Thanks.
Important Links
- Lieutenant Colonel Waldo Waldman
- Waldo Walden – Facebook
- [email protected]
- YourWingman.com/NFS
- Better Selling Through Storytelling Method Online Course
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