How To Beat The Odds
Posted by John Livesay in blog | 0 comments
Have you ever wondered what the winning formula to success is? Here it is: Mindset plus preparation plus resilience equals success. I developed this formula based on my experience in sales over the last 20 years and seeing what worked and didn’t work for me.
Imagine you’re trying to bake a cake and leave out a key ingredient. The cake might fail to rise, and you wouldn’t know why. Each of the steps in this formula is a key ingredient you can use to be successful — whether you’re a salesperson, a business owner who has to sell in order to grow your business or a leader who has to inspire your team to be resilient.
Mindset
As a keynote sales speaker, I have to sell myself to clients who are considering me versus other speakers. What I say to myself before the call is crucial. If I have the wrong mindset, then the self-talk sounds like, “I’m not good enough” or “Why would they pick me?” If I had this mindset, I’d never get hired. Instead, I get myself in the right mindset by remembering other talks I’ve given and the great outcomes that resulted and telling myself, “I am confident I can deliver a great keynote” and “I am the right person for this opportunity.”
The key to getting into the right mindset is to stack your moments of certainty. Write down three or four times you got a “yes.” It could be when you got hired, when you got a second date or when you won an award. Stack these up in your mind and remember how great you felt, and then put that in your head versus fearful thoughts. Try to see the outcome you want to happen before you even start.
Preparation
The famous tennis player Arthur Ashe once said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.”
The preparation that Emma Boettcher did to beat the Jeopardy! champion James Holzhauer was impressive. She wrote a paper in graduate school about whether certain clues could predict how hard the question was. After she’d been called to appear on the show, she prepared by watching it every day and pretending the pen in her hand was her clicker to buzz in. Then she decided that wasn’t realistic enough and used a toilet paper holder as her pretend buzzer. She had to beat the odds of winning against Holzhauer, and she did it by preparation.
The preparation I do before a call to get hired as a keynote speaker is a key to my success. Recently, I was being considered to be a speaker for a real estate company, so before the interview call, I called their customer service line, as well as a competitor’s, to see how I was treated. That preparation impressed the client, and they were very curious to see what I found out.
To prepare yourself for success at, say, a sales pitch, an interview or presentation, write down three questions you think you’ll be asked, and be prepared to answer them before they ask you. Another way to help you prepare is to take an improv class to get your confidence up and learn to think on your feet. Improv is all about saying, “Yes, and … ” When you practice taking what’s thrown at you and responding in a way that keeps the conversation going, you’ll be able to trust yourself to come up with a good answer on the spot.
Resilience
How fast do you get up when you fall down or get rejected? Boettcher used resilience in addition to preparation, as it took her four tries before she was accepted to be on Jeopardy!
One thing I’ve observed when speaking to real estate agents is that the number one difference between the top 1% of them and those who struggle to make a living is how fast they bounce back after getting a no. The top 1% let it go immediately. The others say they let it go, but many of them mope around in a bad mood for two weeks or more.
These examples show the power of bouncing back fast as the key to resilience. In business and in life, it’s not a question of whether you’ll get knocked down, but when you’ll get knocked down and how fast you’ll get back up.
My key to resilience is to never take rejection personally. When I was selling ads for a global media company, I didn’t always get the sale. Instead of beating myself up, I would just tell myself, “A ‘no’ now, doesn’t mean ‘no’ forever.”
To become more resilient, see how fast you can let rejection go. Stop talking about it with friends and co-workers. Stop complaining about how tough it is out there. Stop talking about the economy or other things beyond your control as the reason for your failure. Learn a new sport or anything where you’re not going to be great at it. I’m not a good bowler, but it’s fun for me to do with friends. When I let go of the last score or the last gutter ball and start fresh every time I get up to bowl again, I am retraining my brain to let go of past failures.
Summary
Think of yourself as the pilot of your life. Ask yourself the following questions — much like a checklist a pilot uses before they take off to fly — when you feel like giving up or need to beat the odds to be successful:
• Do I have the right mindset to keep going?
• Am I prepared enough?
• Am I resilient? Can I bounce back fast after getting knocked down?
If you can answer “yes” to all three, then you can beat the odds and make your dreams become your reality.
The Power of Positive Thinking & Being Present
Posted by John Livesay in blog | 0 comments
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Have you ever heard the saying: “You can’t give something you don’t have”?
When it comes to being present it’s especially true.
What if someone asked you for a cookie and you didn’t have any cookies? That’s just like if someone asked you to hear them but you were too preoccupied to listen.
You are the gift, or the “present”, when you are present for others.
But in order to be present for others, you have to be there for yourself first.
When we harness the power of positive thinking and being present, we begin to SOAR!
Let’s empty out yesterday’s regrets, toss out tomorrow’s fears, and be here NOW!
Tell yourself:
In this PRESENT moment, I give myself the gift of NOW.
Of course, we’re going to need a flight plan to SOAR—not just fly—our way to success.
Like any good flight plan, there is a check-list, and we have to make sure the equipment works before we start to taxi.
Your mind is the equipment.
We are going to tune it up and check and double check all our safety procedures—our thought processes and beliefs.
Positive thinking and being present.
How do you create your own reality?
How is it that some people are calm when they’re stuck in traffic while others fall apart?
How is it that two siblings from the same family can have vastly different outcomes?
Shakespeare said: “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
We are the judge of whether a situation is good or bad. We are the thinker having the thought.
When we know who we are and control our thinking, the thought does not think us.
Here are some of the most common negative thought defaults many of us face.
“What if this doesn’t work out?”
“What if no one likes me?”
“I lack” thoughts:
“There isn’t room for me to succeed.”
“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
Self-doubt thoughts:
“There is someone better for this job than I am.”
“I have never been…” (fill in the blank):
- thin enough
- smart enough
- handsome/pretty enough
- talented enough
The “I’m not good enough” thought:
This feeling is at the root of so many issues.
Dr. David Walker wrote a book called You are Enough.
When you really think you are enough and believe it—regardless of job loss, financial setback, loss of a loved one or even your health—who you are is bigger than anything external that you can use to measure your self-worth.
“As soon as” thoughts:
I used to play the “as soon as” game in my head. Maybe you’ve done this too.
- As soon as I move to California, I’ll be happy.
- As soon as I get a great job, I’ll be happy.
- As soon as I get married, I’ll be happy.
- As soon as I have a six pack, I’ll be happy.
- As soon as I have a great new car, I’ll be happy.
- As soon as I have a new wardrobe, I’ll be happy.
- As soon as I have a book published, I’ll be happy.
- As soon as I win awards at work, I’ll be happy.
If you’re always thinking of what will happen “as soon as,” how can you really be present in the moment?
The real challenges start when you get what you think you want and you’re still not happy.
When you hold on to the fantasy that if you had X you’d be happy, you still have hope.
When hope is gone, you know outside things won’t fill the hole inside.
That’s when the real work begins.
I have an actor friend who had a part in a hit sitcom and rented a home in Malibu Colony. This was her fantasy, one shared by many other actors.
She was miserable.
The script wasn’t funny; she had to force herself to memorize it.
The beach was often foggy.
Worst of all, no one wanted to hear she was unhappy.
She had it all—what everyone in acting strives for. If she wasn’t happy, how could anyone be happy?
Another big fantasy regardless of your career: As soon as I make over X amount of dollars, I’ll be happy.
We all have this magic number in our head we think will make us feel secure.
“If I had $1 million in the bank or $2 million or $10 million, then I would feel safe.”
It could all go away with one bad investment.
What do successful people say to that?
“So what? I made it once, I can make it again.”
Those who don’t know the power they have live in fear of losing the money they have.
These fear thoughts go away when we take control of the cockpit of our mind with positive thinking.
Are you the pilot, or the passenger stuck in the middle seat in the back of the flight of your life?
- Don’t sell out your soul
- Don’t sell out your ethics
- Don’t sell out your integrity
When our “reality” is happening, it is easy to forget that somewhere behind this experience of good or bad (however we are labeling it or getting agreement on with our friends) is a thought.
How can we remind ourselves of this? By being present!
How many times have you said: “The economy is tough now,” or “the weather is always a problem when I fly.”
Sometimes people will agree with you to try and establish intimacy.
They might say, “I know what you mean. I’m always on flights that are delayed,” or, “yes, it is so tough to make money now.”
Hit the reset button with new knowledge around how to build rapport and intimacy, by being the pilot of our thoughts.
We decide how much power to give any one thought. You need to be present to do this.
Let’s assume you have this thought: “I am an honest person.”
When you are confronted with a choice to act honestly or not, you follow your beliefs about yourself and do the right thing.
If you perform these honest actions long enough they become second nature—a habit.
After a period of time, the habit of being honest becomes a character traits and embodies not only how you define yourself, but how others do as well.
A character trait is measured by how you behave when no one is watching.
If you’re in a position to steal something without getting caught, but you don’t do it, that is a manifestation of honesty.
In a movie, they don’t tell the audience a person is honest through dialogue, they show it by their actions.
When your thoughts become fully integrated into who you are, they become your new reality.
Taking this even one step further, how you treat the world is how the world treats you.
You are honest with yourself and honest with other people.
If you lose your wallet or purse, you believe that someone will return it because in your reality, people are honest.
In sales, when you are honest with your clients, you give them a fair rate.
Over time you get more referrals, because you’re viewed as someone who is a straight shooter.
You are someone who understands that good deals mean both sides walk away from the table with smiles on their faces. Clients buy from you even when you don’t have the best rates, because they know you treat them with respect and honesty.
The importance of positive self-talk.
What you say to yourself is more important than what you say to others.
Think about it.
The person we have the most dialogue with every day is ourselves!
Is that conversation:
- Loving
- Kind
- Patient
- Forgiving
- Gentle
- Encouraging
- Supportive
- Renewing
- Calming
- Reassuring
OR
Is it:
- Angry
- Impatient
- Unforgiving
- Relentless
Ask yourself:
- Do you express more negative than positive thoughts, about yourself, to yourself?
- Do you believe that what you think will come true?
- What would it take to shift your negative thinking to positive thinking?
- What would it take to get at least 51 percent of your thoughts headed in the right direction?
When we drive a car or when a pilot flies a plane, it is a series of small “error and correct” movements. When you start to veer towards the wrong lane, you make a slight adjustment on the wheel.
The same goes for your thoughts: adjust the focus.
Let’s go over some common things people say to themselves and see which sound familiar to you.
When you’re present and aware of what you’re thinking, it helps you choose between negative or positive thinking.
Negative versus positive thoughts.
Negative: It just won’t work.
Positive: The things that need to work out will work out. (My life is unfolding perfectly at all times).
Negative: I don’t have enough time.
Positive: I have plenty of time to think, plan and do.
Do you see how lack of time comes from the same mindset of scarcity that says you lack money or health?
Negative: I’m always late.
Positive: I have enough time to get where I need to be.
Once again is there a lack of time or an abundance? Are you hitting green lights or all the red?
Negative: I can’t seem to get organized.
Positive: Taking time to get organized is just as important as anything else I do.
For example: “When I organize my closet, I get ready faster in the morning because I can find what I need fast versus wasting time looking for a belt, etc.”
Negative: Today just isn’t my day.
Positive: There are good things that happened even on “bad” days.
You choose if a bad morning decides the rest of the day. Hit the reset button in your thoughts!
Negative: That really makes me mad.
Positive: Getting mad is okay.
Enough therapy has taught me it is okay to have my feelings. Getting over it is the key. Let go—why hold on to anger? Does it hurt you or the other person?
Negative: Another blue Monday.
Positive: Monday is a great day for a fresh start.
Negative: I don’t have the energy I used to have.
Positive: I have energy to do important things.
Think of it this way: You have a new puppy who has tons of energy. Will he have that much later? Probably not, but he will have enough to have fun, regardless.
Negative: I never have enough money.
Positive: Money is not the only definition of prosperity. I am generous and abundant.
Money is energy in action.
If you are stingy with expressing your feelings of affection, you are probably stingy with the tips you give. Guess what? The universe will be stingy with you because it is like the law of gravity. It applies to everyone the same at all times of the day.
Here is another big excuse:
Negative: Why even try?
Positive: All my efforts are rewarded.
Negative: That’s impossible.
Positive: Nothing is impossible (Break the word into I’m possible.)
Remember, we want to soar!
“You can’t get the gold medal for diving if you stay on the ground.” – Edwene Gaines.
And…
Nobody soars with excuses.
“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else” – Benjamin Franklin.
Can you imagine all the excuses he could have used if he couldn’t fly a kite to prove static electricity?
- My kite tail is too long.
- The wind is never right.
- The key on the end of this is not big enough.
There will ALWAYS be excuses. But when we harness the power of positive thinking and being present, we’re giving a gift to others and to ourselves!
I want to hear from you!
Write in the comments some of your own negative and positive statements and practice using two positive ones in your head and see how it impacts your day.
Click here if you’d like to hear more about why John is the #1 choice for organizations seeking a keynote speaker to enlighten their force on storytelling as a sales tool, being a revenue rockstar and winning back clients.
Did you enjoy this post about positive thinking and being present? Be sure to visit these articles as well:
Exactly What To Say For Influence And Impact with Phil M. Jones
Giftology: Make People Feel That They Matter with John Ruhlin
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Heads In Beds : 3 Winning Sales Strategies One Las Vegas Hotel Executed To Be Fully Booked
Posted by John Livesay in blog | 0 comments
How does a hotel get “heads in beds?” From measuring the results of ads to getting the sales team to win the big events that book many rooms, hotels have to come up with new and creative ways to stand out so they are not seen as a commodity. If you have ever wondered how to get out of the pricing game for room rates, this is for you.
When I sold ads for W magazine at Conde Nast, I was involved with convincing The Cosmopolitan Hotel of Las Vegas to run their launch campaign with us. The strip is filled with so many hotels I wondered what they were going to do to stand out. They told me they didn’t want to just compete with the Bellagio, they wanted to attract customers that didn’t necessarily like to visit Vegas.
Their whole focus was on “unexpected luxury” and wanted to take that to a whole new level. They planned to do everything from an art exhibit in the lobby to having unique fashion boutiques that were nowhere else to be found in Las Vegas. Because W magazine’s editorial was at the intersection of art and fashion, they decided our audience was a fit.
The next step was to get awareness and buzz around the launch. They looked to me and my marketing team at W to come up with an idea to provide added value for their ad spend. We decided to have a fashion show, using clothes from their boutiques, at night around their swimming pool during the MAGIC trade fashion show. The promoted it and aired the show live on their billboard above the strip. They built a runway over the water in the pool and everyone in the fashion business who was attending the trade show came to the fun fashion show that got picked up by the national press.
Then I suggested they have their sales team start marketing to all the fashion brands who would be returning to Las Vegas for the next trade show to book their rooms now as they would continue to have unique and custom events. The result was The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas sold out their rooms and then continued to get those guests to tell their friends they had to stay there. Once you give influencers a great experience, they become your brand ambassadors.
In my book, Better Selling Through Storytelling, I talk about the journey of going from invisible to irresistible. Think of these as rungs on a ladder and you have to figure out how to move up one rung at a time.
Invisible—The hotel was new and nobody had heard of them.
Insignificant—Even for the few people who saw it being built they didn’t think it was worth their time investigating staying there during fashion week.
Interesting—When we started describing the fashion show around the pool at night we started getting requests to attend.
Intriguing—People wanted to know more. How could you have the models “walking on water?” was a question they got after seeing the teaser on the invitation.
Irresistible—The pool area could only accommodate a fixed number of people and this became the must-attend party with a waiting list!
The key to going from invisible to irresistible to drive sales for your hotel is to first realize where you are on the ladder with your ideal clients. To get the big events that book blocks of rooms make sure you are offering them more than just a place for heads in beds. Give them a wow experience that will make your property irresistible.