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When I was interviewed by Larry King …

Posted by John Livesay in blog | 0 comments

Growing up, one of my favorite shows to watch was Larry King Live on CNN. He had amazing guests and always seem to ask the kinds of questions that I would like to ask if I was the host.

Because it was live, there was a kinetic energy. You never knew what was going to happen.

​​Also, Larry never asked a question that made his guests feel uncomfortable. This meant that both the guests and the audience could relax and enjoy the conversation.

While I am someone who likes to set goals, never in a million years did I dream that I would ever be interviewed by Larry King.

Here’s how it happened. My friend Dr. Mark Goulston became a mentor of mine after hearing me as a storytelling keynote speaker in Los Angeles to a group of media, entertainment, and technology entrepreneurs.

When he told me he had breakfast every morning with Larry King and a group of Larry’s friends, I was impressed and wanted to know more. One of the other breakfast buddies was Cal Fussman.

Mark suggested that Cal and I get to know each other because we both worked in the magazine business. Cal was a esteemed journalist for Esquire magazine for many years, interviewing famous people such as Gorbachev. I, on the other hand, sold advertising for magazines. 

In the magazine heyday, advertising salespeople were “not allowed” to talk to journalists. There was a “Church and State” separation. When Cal and I were having lunch, we joked about the two of us breaking down that wall like Gorbachev and Reagan.

As my friendship with Cal evolved, I showed him how storytelling could become a sales tool for him to sell himself as a speaker. He invited me to join him as he co-hosted a TV show called Breakfast with Larry… with none other than Larry King!

You can imagine my surprise and delight. One of the mantras I say to myself is “wonderful things are happening for me from sources expected and unexpected.” This was certainly an example of that. 

On the day of the interview, I was told to arrive at the deli in Beverly Hills where we would literally have breakfast with Larry King. We would then get into his car and be taken to Larry’s TV studio where we would do the interview.

As part of my preparation, I read that Larry King did not like small talk, so I wanted to make sure I knew as much about Larry and his career as possible. Vanity Fair did an amazing excerpt of his biography about how he got his big break interviewing Frank Sinatra when he was a radio host in Miami. Apparently, Jackie Gleason had been a guest on Larry King’s radio show and asked Larry this wonderful question: “What’s impossible in your business?” 

Larry replied that it was impossible to interview Frank Sinatra because his son had recently been kidnapped. The media was implying it was due to his connections to the mob, which made Sinatra furious, so he refused to do any interviews. Gleason said he had to fill in for Sinatra as a favor once when Sinatra had laryngitis, and Sinatra and said, “I owe you one.” Jackie decided to call in his favor with Sinatra and ask him to have Larry King interview him.

Ironically, Sinatra was so comfortable with Larry he brought up the fact that his son had been kidnapped and even invited Larry to bring a date to hear him sing the next night at a private club.

Larry was very excited because he knew whoever he brought, she would be very impressed.

They had a great seat and Sinatra even acknowledged the interview from the stage and predicted that Larry King would be famous someday.

On the way home with his date, she asked Larry to stop and buy some coffee for them to have the next morning. Unfortunately, Larry did not have any cash and this was before the days of a lot of credit cards and ATMs. He knew if he said he didn’t have cash, the whole evening mood would be ruined.

So he walked in the store and came out a few minutes later. She said, “Where’s the coffee?” He responded, “They couldn’t change a $100 bill.”

When I read that story, I laughed out loud. I knew I was going to bring that up in my conversation with Larry.

On the way from breakfast in the car with Larry and Cal, I asked Larry about that story. He smiled and said, “Yes. That was a great night.”

Then when we were on camera, Larry asked me what made a good story. I knew that he would be comfortable talking about that story so I said, “Let’s go through your story about your big break and show why it is a great story.”

The exposition is that you’re in Miami as an up-and-coming DJ on radio, and you got your big break by Jackie Gleason calling in a big favor.

The problem was Sinatra wasn’t going to do any interviews.

The solution is you got him to do an interview, and he then invited you and a date to hear him sing. But the problems escalated again when you didn’t have money to even get coffee after you showed your date a great time.

The resolution of that story is what you said to her when you came out of the store. They couldn’t break $100 bill. That’s what makes the story so memorable. What makes all stories wonderful is a powerful resolution.

From that point on the interview, just went better and better and Larry could not have been nicer or warmer.

Let’s all learn to stay open to wonderful things happening to us, even if we’re not dreaming about them as a possibility.

Remember the key to having meaningful conversations with people is to prepare so that you can talk about something that’s meaningful to them.

If you want to see Larry in action with me, click here to watch a short clip of our interview.

“Do You See What I See?”: Using Visualization to Close the Sale

Posted by John Livesay in blog | 0 comments

You know the holiday song “Do You Hear What I Hear?” There is a lyric that asks, “Do you see what I see?” which encourages people to use their imagination and look up into the sky.

What a great metaphor to remind us to look up from our daily tasks and imagine what is possible beyond our limited thinking.

When we start off conversations with “What If?”, we invite our potential business partners to imagine new possibilities. One of the best tools to do that is to ask a question that allows people to visualize a future where the two of you are working together and how much better their life will be by using your solution to their current problem.

Active listening has always been a key factor in being successful in sales. (And we all have to sell ourselves — whether we have a sales title or not). That is why it is crucial to reframe and restate what you think you heard someone say before you answer them.

When people feel seen and heard, they connect with you.

Eyes Wide Open

When I interviewed Issac Lidsky on my podcast The Successful Pitch, he told his journey of losing his sight at 25 years old. He went through many feelings of grief around losing his sight. Once he reframed how he saw his blindness, he went on to become the first blind person to serve as a law clerk for the U.S. Supreme Court.

Now, as an entrepreneur, he told me that when he runs meetings with his staff and asks them for their input, he sometimes hears silence. He reminds them, “I’m still blind. Are you all nodding again?” Then he has people go around the table and speak their thoughts. This gives him more information than if he had just relied on “seeing” people nod their heads.

He has written a wonderful book Eyes Wide Open and inspires all of us to see in new ways.

When you learn how to tell a new story to yourself about what you need to be happy and successful, you are back to being the director of your own life.

The Three Cameras

We always have three cameras at our disposal:

    1. How we see things. What lens are we using? Is it a wide-angle or close-up lens?
    2. The choice to see things from others’ perspectives and show empathy for what they see and feel
    3. The ability to zoom out and see the big picture. Will this be important or stressful 5 minutes from now? How about 5 days or 5 years from now?

If you want to learn how to see and hear things from a different angle so you can create meaningful connections, then my Better Selling Through Storytelling course and ongoing support could be the missing tool you have been looking for!

Let’s go on a journey together to get people to see and hear what you see by telling them stories that tug at their heartstrings so they want to open their purse strings.

How to Fight Your Flight Response

Posted by John Livesay in blog | 0 comments

We’ve all heard the term “use it or lose it.”

Sometimes it’s in context to the need to keep moving and exercising.
 
I remember when I asked my trainer, “Why do I need to do deadlifts? Nobody sees the back of my legs.” He said, “Have you ever seen old men in showers with saggy butts? It is because they don’t have strong hamstrings. That’s what deadlifts do for you.”
Then and there, I decided to stop complaining about doing them and asked him how many he wanted me to do!
 
The same is true in our communication skills, storytelling skills, and networking skills.
 
I was invited to a socially-distanced networking party for 20 people which was outside at a private home in Austin where I recently moved.
 
Moving to a new city requires a lot of new skills, including how to deal with not knowing everybody at a cocktail party.
 
Not only had I not gone to a cocktail party in over 8 months, I had not exercised my muscle of going up to people and introducing myself in 8 months!
 
Most everyone there already knew each other. Luckily for me, Austin’s very friendly.
 
In fact, walking from my car to the party, I saw a beautiful modern house and admired the architecture so much I took out my phone and took a picture of it. Stephanie, the owner of the home came out and said, “Oh, I see you took a picture. Are you interested to know who the architect is?” We talked for five minutes, and she was so friendly.
 
The same thing was true with 20 people at this outdoor patio party. About 15 minutes after arriving, I had a thought “What if I left? Would anyone notice? Or can I push past my anxiety and stay?”
 
I told myself, “Just stay five more minutes and see how you feel.” Soon after that, I was in another conversation and another conversation and my anxiety went away. In fact, I was not the first person to leave the party at all.
 
The lesson here is that we need to keep exercising all our muscles. When we realize we might be a little rusty from not using them all during a pandemic, it can be like riding a bike. We do have muscle memory and can get back on and eventually get going in a groove again.
 
Also, try to resist the urge to flee something when you feel out of your comfort zone. Tell yourself a story that you just have to get through the next five minutes, not the next hour and a half, and see if that helps you conquer your next fear.