Have you ever heard the saying: “You can’t give something you don’t have”?
When it comes to being present it’s especially true.
What if someone asked you for a cookie and you didn’t have any cookies? That’s just like if someone asked you to hear them but you were too preoccupied to listen.
You are the gift, or the “present”, when you are present for others.
But in order to be present for others, you have to be there for yourself first.
When we harness the power of positive thinking and being present, we begin to SOAR!
Let’s empty out yesterday’s regrets, toss out tomorrow’s fears, and be here NOW!
In this PRESENT moment, I give myself the gift of NOW.
Of course, we’re going to need a flight plan to SOAR—not just fly—our way to success.
Like any good flight plan, there is a check-list, and we have to make sure the equipment works before we start to taxi.
Your mind is the equipment.
We are going to tune it up and check and double check all our safety procedures—our thought processes and beliefs.
Positive thinking and being present.
How do you create your own reality?
How is it that some people are calm when they’re stuck in traffic while others fall apart?
How is it that two siblings from the same family can have vastly different outcomes?
Shakespeare said: “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
We are the judge of whether a situation is good or bad. We are the thinker having the thought.
When we know who we are and control our thinking, the thought does not think us.
Here are some of the most common negative thought defaults many of us face.
“What if this doesn’t work out?”
“What if no one likes me?”
“I lack” thoughts:
“There isn’t room for me to succeed.”
“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
“There is someone better for this job than I am.”
“I have never been…” (fill in the blank):
- thin enough
- smart enough
- handsome/pretty enough
- talented enough
The “I’m not good enough” thought:
This feeling is at the root of so many issues.
Dr. David Walker wrote a book called You are Enough.
When you really think you are enough and believe it—regardless of job loss, financial setback, loss of a loved one or even your health—who you are is bigger than anything external that you can use to measure your self-worth.
“As soon as” thoughts:
I used to play the “as soon as” game in my head. Maybe you’ve done this too.
- As soon as I move to California, I’ll be happy.
- As soon as I get a great job, I’ll be happy.
- As soon as I get married, I’ll be happy.
- As soon as I have a six pack, I’ll be happy.
- As soon as I have a great new car, I’ll be happy.
- As soon as I have a new wardrobe, I’ll be happy.
- As soon as I have a book published, I’ll be happy.
- As soon as I win awards at work, I’ll be happy.
If you’re always thinking of what will happen “as soon as,” how can you really be present in the moment?
The real challenges start when you get what you think you want and you’re still not happy.
When you hold on to the fantasy that if you had X you’d be happy, you still have hope.
When hope is gone, you know outside things won’t fill the hole inside.
That’s when the real work begins.
I have an actor friend who had a part in a hit sitcom and rented a home in Malibu Colony. This was her fantasy, one shared by many other actors.
She was miserable.
The script wasn’t funny; she had to force herself to memorize it.
The beach was often foggy.
Worst of all, no one wanted to hear she was unhappy.
She had it all—what everyone in acting strives for. If she wasn’t happy, how could anyone be happy?
Another big fantasy regardless of your career: As soon as I make over X amount of dollars, I’ll be happy.
We all have this magic number in our head we think will make us feel secure.
“If I had $1 million in the bank or $2 million or $10 million, then I would feel safe.”
It could all go away with one bad investment.
What do successful people say to that?
“So what? I made it once, I can make it again.”
Those who don’t know the power they have live in fear of losing the money they have.
These fear thoughts go away when we take control of the cockpit of our mind with positive thinking.
Are you the pilot, or the passenger stuck in the middle seat in the back of the flight of your life?
- Don’t sell out your soul
- Don’t sell out your ethics
- Don’t sell out your integrity
When our “reality” is happening, it is easy to forget that somewhere behind this experience of good or bad (however we are labeling it or getting agreement on with our friends) is a thought.
How can we remind ourselves of this? By being present!
How many times have you said: “The economy is tough now,” or “the weather is always a problem when I fly.”
Sometimes people will agree with you to try and establish intimacy.
They might say, “I know what you mean. I’m always on flights that are delayed,” or, “yes, it is so tough to make money now.”
Hit the reset button with new knowledge around how to build rapport and intimacy, by being the pilot of our thoughts.
We decide how much power to give any one thought. You need to be present to do this.
Let’s assume you have this thought: “I am an honest person.”
When you are confronted with a choice to act honestly or not, you follow your beliefs about yourself and do the right thing.
If you perform these honest actions long enough they become second nature—a habit.
After a period of time, the habit of being honest becomes a character traits and embodies not only how you define yourself, but how others do as well.
A character trait is measured by how you behave when no one is watching.
If you’re in a position to steal something without getting caught, but you don’t do it, that is a manifestation of honesty.
In a movie, they don’t tell the audience a person is honest through dialogue, they show it by their actions.
Taking this even one step further, how you treat the world is how the world treats you.
You are honest with yourself and honest with other people.
If you lose your wallet or purse, you believe that someone will return it because in your reality, people are honest.
In sales, when you are honest with your clients, you give them a fair rate.
Over time you get more referrals, because you’re viewed as someone who is a straight shooter.
You are someone who understands that good deals mean both sides walk away from the table with smiles on their faces. Clients buy from you even when you don’t have the best rates, because they know you treat them with respect and honesty.
The importance of positive self-talk.
What you say to yourself is more important than what you say to others.
Think about it.
The person we have the most dialogue with every day is ourselves!
Is that conversation:
- Do you express more negative than positive thoughts, about yourself, to yourself?
- Do you believe that what you think will come true?
- What would it take to shift your negative thinking to positive thinking?
- What would it take to get at least 51 percent of your thoughts headed in the right direction?
When we drive a car or when a pilot flies a plane, it is a series of small “error and correct” movements. When you start to veer towards the wrong lane, you make a slight adjustment on the wheel.
The same goes for your thoughts: adjust the focus.
Let’s go over some common things people say to themselves and see which sound familiar to you.
When you’re present and aware of what you’re thinking, it helps you choose between negative or positive thinking.
Negative versus positive thoughts.
Negative: It just won’t work.
Positive: The things that need to work out will work out. (My life is unfolding perfectly at all times).
Negative: I don’t have enough time.
Positive: I have plenty of time to think, plan and do.
Do you see how lack of time comes from the same mindset of scarcity that says you lack money or health?
Negative: I’m always late.
Positive: I have enough time to get where I need to be.
Once again is there a lack of time or an abundance? Are you hitting green lights or all the red?
Negative: I can’t seem to get organized.
Positive: Taking time to get organized is just as important as anything else I do.
For example: “When I organize my closet, I get ready faster in the morning because I can find what I need fast versus wasting time looking for a belt, etc.”
Negative: Today just isn’t my day.
Positive: There are good things that happened even on “bad” days.
You choose if a bad morning decides the rest of the day. Hit the reset button in your thoughts!
Negative: That really makes me mad.
Positive: Getting mad is okay.
Enough therapy has taught me it is okay to have my feelings. Getting over it is the key. Let go—why hold on to anger? Does it hurt you or the other person?
Negative: Another blue Monday.
Positive: Monday is a great day for a fresh start.
Negative: I don’t have the energy I used to have.
Positive: I have energy to do important things.
Think of it this way: You have a new puppy who has tons of energy. Will he have that much later? Probably not, but he will have enough to have fun, regardless.
Negative: I never have enough money.
Positive: Money is not the only definition of prosperity. I am generous and abundant.
Money is energy in action.
If you are stingy with expressing your feelings of affection, you are probably stingy with the tips you give. Guess what? The universe will be stingy with you because it is like the law of gravity. It applies to everyone the same at all times of the day.
Here is another big excuse:
Negative: Why even try?
Positive: All my efforts are rewarded.
Negative: That’s impossible.
Positive: Nothing is impossible (Break the word into I’m possible.)
Remember, we want to soar!
“You can’t get the gold medal for diving if you stay on the ground.” – Edwene Gaines.
Nobody soars with excuses.
“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else” – Benjamin Franklin.
Can you imagine all the excuses he could have used if he couldn’t fly a kite to prove static electricity?
- My kite tail is too long.
- The wind is never right.
- The key on the end of this is not big enough.
There will ALWAYS be excuses. But when we harness the power of positive thinking and being present, we’re giving a gift to others and to ourselves!
I want to hear from you!
Write in the comments some of your own negative and positive statements and practice using two positive ones in your head and see how it impacts your day.
Click here if you’d like to hear more about why John is the #1 choice for organizations seeking a keynote speaker to enlighten their force on storytelling as a sales tool, being a revenue rockstar and winning back clients.
Did you enjoy this post about positive thinking and being present? Be sure to visit these articles as well: